Weight Loss Journey: Struggling

Ugh!  I have written and rewritten this blog several times over the last month.  A few things have happened this month and I wasn't sure if I wanted to talk about them.  Usually my blog is all about positivity and encouragement.  Let me tell you, this month, it has not been so easy.  I have been really struggling.  No only with my weight loss but with my emotions and my self control.  I again chose not to weigh myself until November 1st.  So, at the time I am writing this part, I have not weighed in.

I had a falling out with a friend of 13 years.  I think I finally just opened my eyes and listened to everyone who was telling me he was a bad person to be around.  I saw through the lies and decided I didn't need his negativity anymore.  I can't save him from himself.  There was no fight or screaming match, I just stopped talking to him and blocked him on all social media.  I did make a new friend through him that I am happy is a part of my life now.  A positive, uplifting person with no agenda.

Early in October I was working a lot on Fabric Pumpkins for my sister to sell for me at her craft fairs.  We made 75 total and they are now all gone.  (I did keep 2 for myself).  The extra time I needed for them took away from me making dinner every night and I got off track a bit.  My own fault for not planning accordingly.  In fact one night I was up for 26 hours and ate an entire pizza to myself.  Not one of my proudest moments.

On the 10th, I got a new tattoo.  I actually got my star covered with a cow.  If you have known me for a while, you know cows are my favorite animal.  Well, while it was healing, I didn't wear my FitBit because that's the wrist I wear it on.  I think that really hindered me.  It allowed me to do things without thinking and assume that I had burned more calories than I had.

The day after we went to a party.  It was a reunion of sorts for our family owned shop.  It was filled with faces that I hadn't seen in so long and it was such a great time.  My only mistake was not sitting down all night.  I am not used to standing so much and I really paid for it the next day.  Not only was I hungover, but my knees and ankles hurt so badly.  We went to the World of Speed Museum in Portland with out Car Club.  I'm afraid I was no fun.  I had to keep sitting and really felt like crap.

Then there was an entire week where I was so tired.  We had "fend for yourself" dinners 3 nights that week.  I also went to the store a few times and bought candy bars and other snacks.  Found out a few days later that it was PMS which strangely made me feel better.  I also only went to the gym twice that week.  I felt like I was eating like crap and I was spiraling.  I did grab the reins and reeled it in by the end of the month so I am anxious to see where my loss is.

The results:  So I didn't lose any weight this month.  Well, actually 0.2 lbs.  While I am disappointed in myself, I really can't rely fully on the scale.  I have come so far in the last 10 1/2 months.  I did take my measurements this month.  I lost 2 inches off my stomach, 2 inches off my arms, 1 inch off my bust and 3 inches off my thighs.  So, while I need to buckle down to meet my 100 lb goal by December 9th, I am happy with my changes.