March Goals Week 3

After posting my last blog, my cousin commented that the weight I lost is equivalent to her almost 4 year old son.  Putting it in those terms are crazy to me.  I lost a 4 year old.  Today I am wearing jeans that actually zip and button.  I can't tell you the last time I wore jeans that zipped.  I have been wearing stretchy pull on jeans for a while now.  I always try to look put together when I leave my house.  I am not one of those people who will wear their pajamas out in public.  My logic behind it is that I am already fat, why give someone more ammo to look down on me.

I have really been giving a peek into how my brain works.  I hope that it helps someone else reading this know that they aren't the only ones feeling or thinking this way.  Lately I have caught myself saying can't pretty frequently, like, "Oh, I can't eat that".  I feel like this is a really bad thing to say.  No one is telling me I can't have something.  I'm not even telling myself that.  I am choosing to change how I eat.  I have been consciously trying to replace can't in my vocabulary.  Nobody cares what you can't do, they want to know what you can or are going to do.

I went to the doctor on Tuesday and it turns out, the pain I was having is from Acid Reflux.  More specifically, Dyspepsia.  So, another new prescription and a list of foods to try to avoid.  The funny thing is, peppermint was on that list.  All week long I had been drinking peppermint herbal tea to calm my stomach.  I did get a high five from the doctor on my weight loss so that felt good.  She is pretty positive about my progress.  All my vitals and stuff were good, my blood pressure was excellent as well as my pulse and oxygen levels.

I did a seated YouTube exercise video Tuesday while editing photos and downloading content off my phone.  I made it through the entire 25 minutes with no problem.  I feel like I have been kicking ass at life lately.  My house is clean, I am organized, I am on my way to a healthier life, both mentally and physically.  I have crossed quite a few projects off my "Wanna-Do" list.  I even got photos hung back up in my house.

However, Thursday I didn't eat so well.  It wasn't a terrible day.  I only went over my calorie target by 100 but I ate the wrong stuff.  I had a Light Beef Bologna sandwich when I got home and then we had dinner with my Mom, Bruce, my sister Kari, Josh and my nephews Logan and Landon.  We went to a Mexican restaurant right next to my Mom's work .  I had saved about 1000 calories for the meal.  I had 750 but when I went home, a few hours later, I had a second bologna sandwich.  I can feel the difference in the type of food I ate.  When we got home last night, I had no energy to do anything and that led to sitting on the couch, watching tv and making that second sandwich.

I got up early on Friday morning and did a short 15 minute aerobic video before work.  I'm not really a morning person.  Sometimes it is hard enough to get to work by 7 am so I don't know if morning exercise will be my friend.  But, there isn't enough room anywhere but the living room to move around so unless I wanna interrupt my husband's night, morning it will have to be.  Saturday I did 20 minutes of a new resistant band routine.  It was fine but it didn't really challenge me so I won't do it again.

I can feel changes happening in my body.  I can tell right away when I have had too many carbs.  I get very lethargic.  My work is really paying off.  I weighed in on Sunday morning and am down a total on 43 lbs since December 9th.  My goal for 2015 was 50 lbs so I am sure I will get there.  My energy level has been down this week, especially Saturday.  I think PMS is creeping up on me.  My positive attitude has really improved my life as a whole though.  I didn't realize how unhappy and grumpy I was.  Finally making myself the focus is really helping.

I want to especially thank all of my Facebook friends and family for being so supportive.  With so many people in my corner, this change has been easy for me.  Even though the guys at work torture me with their junk food habits, I had been strong.  I know I have said it before, but this isn't a diet.  It is a lifestyle change.  I have made changes that are easily incorporated into everyday life.  I am still cooking regular dinners and eating out when it is necessary.  I guess what I am trying to say is that if you are struggling, know you are not alone and that you don't have to change your entire life just to lose some weight.

So, for my final week of March Goals, I am going to stay positive and get out of the house.  I am going to say 5 positive things that happened during the day before I go to bed and let the negative float away without wasting any of my time.  I am also going to do something after work 2 days this week.  Usually I race home and once I am home from work, I don't leave again.  This week I am going to either go for a walk, go shopping or hang out with friends after work.

March Goals - Week 2: Exercise

This week my focus will be on exercise.  Specifically my goal is to do 3 different work outs at least 3 days this week.  Last week I bought some resistance bands and a Biggest Loser Yoga DVD from Amazon so those will be two of the three.  The third I am thinking of simply taking a walk.  We have a gorgeous lake in the middle of town that has fantastic walking trails.  I have always been anxious about walking around the lake because it's out there in the open for all to see.

As confident as I am, I don't want someone to see me and laugh.  After I had my Gastric Bypass and lost 150 lbs, I felt so great about myself.  The problem was that out in public, people who didn't know me or my story, would make fun of me.  Cracking jokes, making comments, calling me names about my weight.  They didn't know I had just lost 1/3rd of myself.  It made me feel like wearing a t-shirt or carrying a sign around that said "I just lost 150 lbs, shut the fuck up".

That was 12 years ago.  I am much more secure in the person I am now but the pain and anxiety is still there.  It's the reason I stay home a lot more than I go out.  I only go places I am comfortable.  I missed out on going out with one of my best friends for his birthday because I couldn't stomach the thought of being in a packed club.  It is very rare for me to go to a new place without meticulously checking it out first.  If a new restaurant comes to town, I want to know what kind of tables and chairs they have.  These aren't things that thin people need to worry about.  These are reasons I am changing my life.

Did my first workout Tuesday night.  I chose to do the Full Body Resistance Band Workout - 20 Moves to Slim You Down & Tone You Up.  It is a 30 minute workout but I was only able to do 15 minutes.  It comes as no surprise that I am really out of shape.  The moves were simple enough though that I think I can slowly work my way up to the whole 30 minutes.  I like the resistance bands because as I move along and the workout gets easier for me, I can change out the band for the next strongest one and start the cycle again.

Wednesday my stomach was upset after lunch and then Thursday I had real trouble eating.  Nothing tasted good.  I brought Overnight Oats, a salad and leftover roasted veggies from last night's dinner but I couldn't get more than a few bites down.  My stomach hurt and I felt nauseous.  I left work about 1 and went straight home to bed.  I slept until around 7:30 and then went back to bed around 10.  I thought it was maybe something bad I had eaten but when it persisted through Friday I got a little more concerned.  Here it is Sunday and I am still in pain when I eat or move around too much.

That being said, I did not complete my goal for this week.  I just felt so crappy after doing just my regular house work that I couldn't work out.  I was not lazy though.  What I did was work on cleaning for as long as I could stomach, then sit until my stomach calmed down.  Then back I was cleaning or doing one of the many projects I have completed in the last week.  I will be sharing some of them with you but the biggest one, that I won't be sharing, is my nephew Landon's Quiet Book.  If you don't know what that is, check out the one I made for Logan here.

So for week 3 of March, I am going to continue with the pursuit of fitness.  I will hopefully be able to get into the doctor on Monday to see what is going on with my stomach.  On a bright note, I lost another 4.5 lbs so I am down a total of 34.5 lbs.