Weight Loss Journey: What I Eat In A Day

After my last few blogs were pretty negative in tone, I thought I would brighten things up.  I started on a low dose thyroid medication on Saturday April 2nd.  That next week I dropped 5 lbs and then I put the scale away.  I didn't want to be checking it every single day.  I won't weigh in again until May 1st.  I am doing really well at keeping under 2,000 calories so I thought I would share with you all what I eat in a day.

BREAKFAST 8:00 am
Breakfast is the same every work day.  I make an egg scramble.  I meal prep the meat on Sunday and portion it out into 4 ozs or whatever the serving is.  I weigh everything out in order to track things accurately.  This keeps me full until around noon.  I also have a 24 oz coffee with almond milk (32 cals) and about 40 ozs of water.

142 grams Isernio's Chicken Breakfast Sausage (160 cals)

7 ozs sliced Zucchini (34 cals)

5 ozs sliced Button Mushrooms (30 cals)

8 ozs Liquid Eggs (123 cals)

Total:  347 Cals, 15 carbs, 6 fat and 37 protein

PRE-WORKOUT 12:00 pm
I try to keep pre-workout light but with some protein and carbs.  I have been really liking cottage cheese and berries.

8 oz Cottage Cheese (180 Cals)

3 ozs Black Berries (32 cals)

3 ozs Raspberries (17 cals)

Total:  229 Cals, 28 carbs, 6 fat and 25 protein

POST WORKOUT 2:45 pm
I use my lunch break to go to the gym.  I either do Cardio or weight lifting for 35 minutes, then come back to work and eat.  Post Workout is always a salad.

4 cups Spring Salad Mix (40 cals)
4 oz Boneless Skinless Chicken Thighs (166 cals)
2 tbsp Litehouse Opa Greek Yogurt Feta Dill Dressing (50 cals)
Total:  256 cals, 10 carbs, 15 fat and 23 protein

DINNER 6:00ish pm
Dinner can vary but we stick to about 10 or 15 dishes pretty consistently.   Here are a few.

6 oz Beef Chuck Steak (240 cals)

150 grams Yukon Gold Potato (120 cals)

2 cups Spring Salad Mix (20 cals)

2 tbsp Litehouse Opa Greek Yogurt Feta Dill Dressing (50 cals)

Totals:  430 cals, 32 carbs, 14 fat and 41 protein

Enchilada Filling:  20 oz Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast, 1 can of Low Sodium Black Beans, 1 large can of La Victoria Mild Red Enchilada Sauce.  Makes 10 Servings, 168 calories each.

3 La Tortilla Factory Low Carb Tortillas (80 cals each)

1.5 oz Mexican Cheese Blend

Totals:  745 cals, 87 carbs, 26 fat and 78 protein

7 ozs Boneless Skinless Chicken Thigh (245 cals)

8 ozs Yukon Gold Potato (138 cals)

6 ozs Birdseye Steamfresh Broccoli (60 cals)

Totals:  443 cals, 38 carbs, 11 fat and 46 protein

Beef Enchilada Bake

16 oz Grassfed Extra Lean Ground Beef

2 cups Instant White Rice

1 can Sweet Corn

1 can Low Sodium Black Beans

1 large can Enchilada Sauce

8 ozs Mexican Cheese Blend

Makes 4 large servings.  Can serve on a tortilla or eat in a bowl.

662 cals, 74 carbs, 18 fat and 51 protein

We also go out to eat maybe once or twice a month.  The above meal is from Ichi Teriyaki here in Longview.  I get no sauce on my chicken to keep the calories in check.  I look at MyFitnessPal for close matches when I eat out.  This meal came out to be 603 calories, 38 carbs, 16 fat and 68 protein.

In the evening I can have anywhere from 100 to 500 calories left.  I like to indulge in ice cream, popcorn or other simple snacks.  I found a really good diet ice cream called Halo Top.  It is hard to find and a bit expensive but well worth the effort.  The pint below is only 280 calories for the entire thing.  There is 60 carbs, 8 fat and 24 protein.  Compare that to regular ice cream and you will be blown away!

Weight Loss Journey: The Test Results Are In

I saw the Nutritionist last week and I did not get the results I had hoped for.  She said my logs looked good, I was doing everything right, and I just needed to work harder.  Lower my calories and burn more at the gym.  Let me tell you, I was really mad when I left.  I was depressed and pissed off.  I went to Taco Bell to drown my sorrows in Cheesy Frito Burritos.  After talking to my Mom and my husband, I calmed a bit but decided to make that day a cheat day and had pizza (Chicken and Spinach) for dinner.

I spent Friday thinking about what I needed to do.  I got a call from my doctor and she wanted me to come in to have some blood work done to check my vitamin levels.  I decided I was going to follow the nutritionist's advice for 4 weeks.  I would cut my calories to 2000 a day and change up my work outs to see what the results would be.  This requires planning and strategy.  I spent Friday evening writing up options for meals and making a shopping list.

Since Easter was Sunday, we did our weekly shopping on Saturday morning.  Do you have Cash & Carry where you are?  If so, check them out.  I find their produce selection to be top notch.  I can get my salad mix for $6 and it will last 2 weeks.  I also get mushrooms, zucchini, spinach, broccoli slaw, grape tomatoes, potatoes, diced ham and feta cheese.  It saves me money and helps with meal prep.  I spent a few hours Sunday night cutting veggies and weighing everything out.

Planning gives me the chance to try out a few new recipes too.  This week I made Zoodles with Shrimp and One Pot Chili Pasta (see recipes below).  I have to thank my husband for being so patient and open minded on weeks like this.  Let's just say I have been a little crazy about this and analyzing things even more than usual.  He was not a huge fan of the Pasta Chili.  He hates tomatoes, but he ate it anyway.  He did like the Zoodles and Shrimp.  I was surprised how much like pasta it actually felt.

I try to eat 4 times a day.  Breakfast, Pre-Workout Snack, Lunch Post-Workout and Dinner.  This week I have added in a few more supplements.  A ProBiotic, a calcium chew, a milder iron supplement, a chewy daily vitamin and a pre-workout energy mix.  This is in addition to my B12, D3 and Alpha Lipoic Acid.  They are working because some of my blood work has come back and my Vitamin D Levels went from 15 to 38 (normal is 20-80) and my B12 levels went from 230 to 588 (normal 200-914).  My Ferritin levels, which measure your bodies ability to hold onto iron, have went from 22 to 32 in a year.  Normal range for that is 11-307.  

Along with those good results have come some questionable ones.  My TSH or Thyroid Stimulating Hormone came back at 3.24 which is right in the middle of the 0.34 to 5.60 range.  However, my T3 which is part of the thyroid system came back at 82 which is lower than the 87-178 range.  Also my urine test showed more protein that normal.  My number was 147 and the range should be less than 29.  This is the test that worries me.  It shows kidney damage and possible kidney disease.

As of right now, I feel like I am fighting with my body.  According to the doctors and all my research, I am doing everything right.  I am eating very healthy, keeping active, keeping low carb, getting plenty of water and taking all my vitamins.  This week I have been keeping under 2000 calories a day and working out.  On Monday morning I was 397.6 but Friday morning I was 399.6.  Can you see why I am super frustrated?  I have been working hard, cutting and I gained weight.  Needless to say, I am waiting to hear from my doctor to see what to do.  I was in tears all Friday morning.  My Mom finally calmed me down and told me I should stop dieting for a week because me being so stressed and upset just isn't worth it.  I am so happy with my progress and how I feel but I am also so depressed.  

If you have made it this far down the blog, THANK YOU!  I sometimes just need to get this shit written out so I can process it.  I will keep you all updated on my progress and what is in store for my health.

Weight Loss Journey: Food Addiction and Obsession

addiction - noun
the fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity.
"he committed the theft to finance his drug addiction"
synonyms: dependency, dependence, habit, problem

This was a facebook thing but I thought it was so fitting.

I think I have always been a food addict.  Always thinking about what I could be eating.  Thinking about Lunch as I am finishing Breakfast.  Hiding snacks in my bedroom.  Hiding the evidence of what I had eaten.  It's a shameful thing.  I did my best to hide it in my teens and 20s but it was obvious I was gaining weight.

"A food addiction or eating addiction is a behavioral addiction that is characterized by the compulsive consumption of palatable (i.e., high fat and high sugar) foods – the types of food which markedly activate the reward system in humans and other animals – despite adverse consequences."

The thing about food addiction is that you can't live without it.  You can't just stay away from food.  It is essential to your survival.  Alcoholics can avoid alcohol, and situations involving it.  Food addicts can avoid restaurants but you have to eat.  And in my family, food seems to always be the way we get together.  Birthdays, Christmas, Easter, it doesn't matter, we are having a meal.  My first question is always, what are we having and what can I bring.

Have you ever sat down to watch a movie or tv with a bag of chips or cookies and suddenly realized that you have eaten the entire bag?  That was me all the time.  And in College, I had an hour break between work and class.  I would always spend that hour eating a bag of fast food while studying or finishing homework,.  I was spending $10 to $20 a day on fast food.  That habit continued into adulthood.

When I had Gastric Bypass in 2003, I thought I had broken that cycle.  I was determined that this physical change I had made in my body would cure my mental illness.  But, it was only a matter of time before my addiction took over again.  18 months ago, I was back in the cycle pretty hard.  Buying breakfast and lunch everyday.  Spending every extra cent on snacks and junk food.  I was drinking liters of Diet Coke daily.  I thought everything was great, but don't all addicts?

When I finally decided I had to change my life, it was my head that changed.  I had been to therapy, read every bit of research I could, tried every diet, and every pill.  Nothing worked until my brain changed.  I've dropped 105 lbs in the last 15 months.  But now my addiction has switched to a Diet Obsession.

obsession - noun
1. the state of being obsessed with someone or something.
"she cared for him with a devotion bordering on obsession"
2. an idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person's mind.
plural noun: obsessions
"he was in the grip of an obsession he was powerless to resist"
synonyms: fixation, passion, mania, compulsion, preoccupation

I count every calorie of everything that goes into my mouth.  I log it on MyFitnessPal and use my FitBit to keep track of my calories burned vs my calories ingested.  I watch YouTube videos on diets, weight lifting and calorie counting.  I plan my meals out a week in advance and eat the same exact thing for Breakfast, Lunch and Post-Workout, every day of the work week.  It's a numbers game and it's driving me insane.

Typical Dinner in my house includes a baked potato with a little cheese, chicken breast and green beans, along with a glass of V8 juice.

Since October 1st, nearly 6 months, I have only dropped 10 lbs.  I've been on this giant plateau where I have tried so many changes.  I've dropped my calories, upped my workouts, used some supplements and now I have added in a protein shake.  I am burning 3500 calories and ingesting about 2000.  This leaves me a 1500 calorie deficit and over a week, that equals a 10500 calorie deficit.  A pound is equal to 3500 calories, therefore, I should be losing around 3 lbs a week.  So what the heck is the problem here?

Two typical days for me.  Around 5000 steps, 4000 calories burned and a work out tracked.

I go to a nutritionist on Thursday this week but in the mean time, I am completely freaking out over this stuff.  Constantly talking about it with my husband and trying to do research on what I am doing wrong.  Is it a thyroid issue?  Have I done metabolic damage to myself?  Am I destined to be this weight?  Am I gaining muscle instead?  It is on my mind at all times and has seriously become an obsession/addiction.  Maybe I will never recover from this.

Weight Loss Journey: 2015 - The Year of Me

I hope you all had a great Christmas.  This past month, I have taken a bit of a break from blogging.  Christmas time is always very hectic for us.  Between multiple family, work and friend get-togethers, we still had to work and keep the house up.  Adulting is hard.

My oldest nephew Logan.  One of the rare photos that isn't blurred.  Kids move fast.

I have been bouncing between 405 and 415 for more than a month.  It seems my body is comfortable at this weight and activity level.  I am fine with that.  I can buy clothes at a store, not just online.  I am really active and flexible.  I am happy, healthy and hopeful.  However, I would like to lose 50 to 100 more pounds.  But I have to remember the number on the scale means nothing if I am miserable.

I have always lived my life trying to do as much as I can for others.  My family, my husband, my friends.  But 2015 was the year of Me.  It was the year I came out of my depression and started enjoying life again.  I didn't even know how depressed I was.  2015 wasn't all about my weight loss.  100 lbs is no small feat, but the year was also about self awareness, self love and self confidence.  In short, I feel incredible.

Me and my nephew Landon, using my selfie stick

I have met so many people in the last year that have lifted me up and supported me.  I have made friends locally and across the US in what I call my "Fat Chat".  I have also had family and friends send me messages and tell me personally how great I am doing.  It makes me incredibly proud of myself.  My blog has gotten so many more followers and I am thankful for each and every person who reads this.  Recently my blog was shared on a weight loss website, across Facebook and Twitter.  It's amazing.  I hope I inspire some of you to get healthier.  I know I am inspired by you all.

This is Christmas 2014 and Christmas 2015.

I am not one for New Years resolutions so I am just going to state a few things for 2016:
#1-I want to continue eating healthy and tracking my calories.
#2-I want to continue my exercise habits by working out at least 3 days a week.
#3-I want to strengthen my relationship with Roger.
#4-I want to continue to save money for our futures.
#5-I want to be a better friend by making more time to visit people.
#6-More craft and food blogs, less weight loss blogs.

What are your hopes for 2016?  Will you be joining me on my journey?

Weight Loss Journey: The Good, the Bad and the Gain

I have been mulling over this blog for a week now.  In fact, I wasn't going to write about it at all.  Just ignore it and maybe it will go away.  But that is how I got to be over 500 lbs in the first place.  And after talking to my sister, she convinced me that this blog needs to be truthful and genuine.  She is absolutely right.  So I must say that I have gained back some weight.  About 7 pounds actually.  Here is where I could list my excuses, but for me, they are not excuses, they are mistakes.  And mistakes can be corrected and learned from.

Two weeks ago I opened an email with the subject line "Invoice and Receipt for Payment".  Thinking nothing of it I downloaded the contents.  Mistake #1.  The email turned out to be a Ransomware Virus that corrupted my computer along with my work and personal flash drives that were plugged in.  I lost every document and photo on all three devices.  I had a friend come over to see if he could save anything but he wasn't able to.  He had to wipe my computer and reload windows.  Thank goodness that it didn't touch anything in my accounting program.

I spent the next 2 days reloading all my programs.  I was so involved in it that I skipped the gym.  Mistake #2.  Instead of taking my lunch break and going to the gym to relieve some stress, I sat at my desk and ate junk.  I went to the gas station a few doors down and got chips, candy and soda.  Mistake #3.  This was an old behavior that I thought I was over but those old habits die hard.  Have I mentioned I don't handle stress very well?

I worked 17 hours overtime in those 2 weeks.  My "at home" meals suffered too. Mistake #4.  I didn't plan ahead and waited way too long to eat some days.  This meant that I didn't make dinner most nights and either ate out or I threw something together.  I had pizza, Chinese, fast food and other comfort food.  I also didn't log my food consistently.  Eating like crap and being stressed about work made me feel like crap.  That in turn made me not want to do anything.  In short, I was lazy and lackadaisical.

On Thanksgiving, I wrapped the Christmas presents while I watched the Macy's parade.  We went to a friend's house for dinner and had a wonderful time.  There was no stress.  By Saturday, I had pulled myself out of my funk.  I took a trip alone to St. Helens, OR and finished my Christmas shopping.  Then, after I got home, Roger and I went to Fred Meyer to shop for boots.  I ended up getting them at Payless.  I got two pair for a little over $50.  I weighed myself again this morning, December 1st, and I was back to 410.  Which means I am 7 lbs from my 100 lb goal.  While this is a set back, it's not going to stop me.

Weight Loss Journey: A Month Without a Scale

On September 1st, I weighed myself, took my measurements and hid my scale in the bottom of my hope chest, vowing not to take it out again until October 1st.  Things were getting too obsessive for me.  I was weighing myself daily and little set backs were causing me way too much mental anguish.  I decided to let myself relax this month and see what happened.

What happened was a much happier Kristy and still a 7 lb weight loss.  I am now 93 lbs down and not one bit miserable.  I let go of the obsessive thoughts.  I let go of always having to know what i was going to eat.  I became more spontaneous and enjoyed eating again.  I still kept track of my food, but not every day and I still went to the gym at least 3 times a week.

Guess what?  I ate out, I ate fast food, I drank and I had chocolate cake.  And I didn't fail.  I lived life and that's what this is about.  "Even if you stumble, you're still moving forward."  I made smart choices, had smaller portions and didn't deprive my cravings.  Guys, I am a changed woman!  I'm never looking back.

Weight Loss Journey: Discovering

Guys, I ran this week.  I didn't run far and it wasn't a fast pace but I ran.  Roger and I went for a walk on Tuesday after work down at this industrial park in town.  They have nice sidewalks and open areas without any businesses nearby.  The sidewalk is lined with street lights and fire hydrants.  I chose to run between every other set of street lights.  I'm not saying it was easy but I sure did enjoy it.  I haven't ran in years.  Another part of my workout that day, and something else I haven't done in years, was using a jump rope.  I also bought a skirt at Target, in a 3X.  It's been a week of rediscovering things.  Along this journey, I discover new things about food, exercise and my own body every week.  I'm 34 years old and thought I knew everything about myself.  Wrong-o.

If you ask any one of my family or friends, they will tell you I am not really a girly girl.  I wear make up maybe once a year and my hair is always in a ponytail.  I am a T-shirt and jeans girl.  But, as of late, I have been wearing make-up and doing my hair daily.  It really freaked my boss out.  He thought I was going on job interviews.  One night, I braided my hair in small braids after watching a YouTube tutorial on awesome beach waves.  It turned out a frizzy mess.  Check out that photo.

I have been on an absolute egg kick lately.  I get the Lucerne Best of the Egg-Original.  It's 99% egg whites with turmeric to make it yellow.  Half a cup has only 60 calories.  I've been making what I call, Green Eggs.  It's basically any green vegetables that I have and eggs.  Last week was zucchini, avocado and salad greens.  This week is spinach, avocado, broccoli and peas.  I love to top it with Sriracha.  This week, I also added some smoked salmon that my husband made.  It is so good and this breakfast is packed with vitamins, good fats and protein.  It keeps me full until after noon.

Another thing that seems to curb my appetite is coffee.  I have been cold brewing my own coffee at home.  Basically you just steep the ground coffee overnight and strain out the grounds.  It's easy and delicious.  Well, I ran out last week and decided maybe I didn't actually need it.  On the second day, I was so hungry.  I thought nothing of it until day 3 and day 4 where I could not control my appetite.  The next day was Friday and I stopped by my beloved Starbucks for a caffeine fix.  Well, that day, the hunger stopped.  I ate my breakfast and made it to lunch without wanting anything else.  So, I guess coffee and I are back together.

Finally, this last paragraph is where I usually tell you how much I have lost since my last blog.  I am sad to say I haven't.  I have hit another plateau.  Not sure the reason, I feel like I am doing exactly what I was before.  So on September first, I weighed in at 417, took all my measurements and then put the scale and measuring tape away.  I will not touch them for an entire month.  I was getting a little too obsessive and weighing myself daily.  But, I know I have gained a lot of muscle.  I can feel muscles in my arms and legs.  I have abs under my rolls.  I know because they are sore after certain workouts.  I joined a Facebook group a few weeks ago that showed me different exercises I could do and asked that the members participate by commenting, leaving photos and other stuff.  I actually won the contest the final week.  I am not giving up, nor am I discouraged.  It's just another time for me to discover a solution.

Weight Loss Journey: Coffee Epiphany, New Family Member and Meal Prep

When I started this journey, I immediately cut out every beverage but water and the occasional alcoholic drink.  This means I gave up my beloved coffee.  I gave up coffee because I can't drink it without cream and sugar and those can add a lot of calories.  Well, it dawned on me this week that I could add Vanilla Almond Milk.  I always have it on hand and it's only 20 calories for 1/4 of a cup.  So, I headed to Starbucks, my guiltiest of pleasures, and ordered a Venti Cold Brew Iced Coffee, black.  I had to sip a bit out, which was pretty bitter but gave me a jolt and then added in my Almond Milk.  I'm pretty sure I heard angels singing, but Miranda Lambert was also on the radio so I can't be sure.  It was glorious, delicious and my new favorite thing.  And it's only 45 calories.  Score!

My first day at the gym I decided the treadmill would be my safest bet.  I got on, situated myself and started the machine.  I started slow, at a 1 and then got it up to a 1.5.  I lasted 5 minutes.  And I was huffing after that five minutes.  Since then, I hadn't touched one.  That was almost 3 months ago, so last Tuesday I decided to give it another go.  I set my pace at 2 and was doing well, so I upped it to 2.5.  I ended up doing a total of 20 minutes, or 3/4 of a mile.  It was a real triumph for me.  After my treadmill, I got on the stationary bike and did 10 minutes, 4 of them at 90 rpms.  That 30 minute workout helped me burn 439 calories.  I did skip the gym Thursday and Friday though.  I had a really rough period this month.  I read a few places that exercising helps ease cramps and bleeding.  LIES I tell you....ALL LIES.

While perusing the inter webs, I came across an advertisement for the Kelso Longview Chamber of Commerce Color Dash.  It's a 5K event around the Three Rivers Mall that includes 4 color stations.  In no way am I ready for this kind of event but it got me thinking.  If I was going to do something like that, why not be a fun one like a color run?  Now, a 5K is just over 3 miles.  At my current pace, it would take me about 90 minutes.  My goal would be under 45 minutes.  That still is a pretty slow pace but I have about a year to work up to it.  Have any of you done a 5K or more?  How did you prepare?

We have a new addition to our Pink Elephant family.  My sister Kari had her third son on July 7th.  Leo Christopher weighed in at 10 lbs. 6 ozs. and was 22" long.  He is gorgeous, as were her other two.  I am especially excited about his birth date though.   My birthday is 5/5, Kari's is 9/9 so he fits right in the middle with 7/7.  Our friend Hollie and I threw her a Sip n' See on Saturday so family and friends could come over to the house and meet Leo without overwhelming them in the hospital.  As per usual, I made way too much food, but it was a nice relaxing afternoon with my favorite people.

After having intense period cravings, eating more than I should have and being in so much pain that I was barely able to function, I did manage to lose another 3 lbs.  I am down a total of 78, with 22 to go until my next major goal.  I have had a few people ask me how I am doing it and again I will say it is all in the mind and preparation.  I spend about an hour on Sundays prepping for the week.  This prep includes making a menu, making my shopping list and cooking anything that is needed.  This week, I didn't go shopping so I am eating out of my freezer.  I cooked up some turkey breakfast sausage for burritos and some chicken breast for salads.  Trust me, the time you spend prepping will save you three-fold during the week.  There is no, "I don't know what to make, what do you want?"  It's all laid out.  You know your schedule, if you are going to be home later one night, put something in the crock pot.  There are no excuses.  Dinner can take less than 15 minutes on most nights.

Weight Loss Journey: Goodbye April

I have been a little lax on my blogging this week.  Nothing too exciting is happening.  I am just working more and going to the gym every week day.  I have been working on the Annual All High School Car Show that is May 9th.  Me, Roger and about 5 other people put it on.  It's a lot of work and I complain about it the entire time but the day of the show when that one kid thanks you for what you've done, it makes it all worth while.

Well my work schedule changed AGAIN so I am now working 8 am to 5 pm.   I am so used to getting off at 3:30 that it has been a tough adjustment.  At home it's not too bad.  We are eating dinner a little bit later which actually eliminates my evening snack.  I also now force myself to take a lunch hour.  I use the opportunity to go to the gym.  I've made it through 2 full weeks.  According to My Fitness Pal, I burned 3,169 calories last week.  I am really loving it.  It gives me a break from work, I am meeting some really cool people and I am feeling good.  One thing I don't like very much is that after my workout, my hands shake for about 30 minutes.  I have to come back to work and have a snack to calm it down.  Surprisingly WebMD said it was nothing to worry about.

I ran across this the other day:  "Diet" is not a verb, it is a noun.  The verb is "eat".  I don't diet, I eat.  Diet is what I eat.  I can't cheat on a diet.  If I eat something that was not on my plan, I didn't cheat.  I just didn't follow my plan.  If my plan isn't achieving what I intended or I can't follow my plan, I need a new plan.  It really helped me this last weekend when we were out of town.  We took an impromptu trip down the coast to Astoria, OR and Long Beach, WA.  Our first stop was Costco where we dropped way too much money, then to the fish market for oysters and clams and finally to the beach.

At Costco, we did like we normally do and had Sausage Dogs.  I decided to only have one and I am so glad I did because those things are packed with 570 calories each.  At the fish market we each got a crab cocktail which is about 2 or 3 ozs of crab meat.  It was so good, freshly caught and cooked that day.  Then at the beach, Roger really wanted Ice Cream so I had a small one scoop of Mocha Almond Fudge.  It was the perfect size and I didn't feel sick or guilty afterward.  Of course, I didn't bother to look up calories for anything the rest of the day either.  On our way home, we stopped by PJ's Pizza in Cathlamet.  There used to be one in Centralia that we went to all the time and when they closed we found out there was one in Cathlamet so we were on a mission to find out if they were the same.  Oh yes indeed they were.  The best chicken wings and pizza.  Yum Yum!

I have really been focusing on drinking a lot of water too.  In fact, I have been drinking only water except for 2 cups of coffee and one soda in the last 2 weeks.  I decided to look up how much water you should drink in a day.  There was a website that gave a calculation.  You take your current weight and times it by .66 and that is how many ounces you are supposed to drink.  So for me, 450 x .66 is 297 ounces plus 12 ounces for the 30 minutes of exercise I do a day is a total of 309 ounces.  that is nearly 2.5 gallons a day.  There is no way that I could EVER drink that much water and still get anything done.  I would be in the bathroom every 10 minutes.  I settled on shooting for 128 ounces a day, which is a gallon.  So far, it hasn't been a problem.  I stole a sports bottle from my brother-in-law the last time I was over and it holds 27 ounces.  I have 2 of them before the gym, 1 at the gym and 1 after.  Then when I get home, I drink at least 2 glasses of water.  I haven't noticed a huge difference but, I was only drinking tea and water anyway.

When I weighed in this morning, I had dropped below the 450 mark.  It was something I had been shooting for.  My total weight loss is now at 54 lbs.  I haven't been losing as rapidly as I would like but I know the first few weeks at the gym would be an adjustment.  I am entering into my third week now.  I met a very nice lady in her 60s yesterday who encouraged me to try the elliptical.  She said it was her best option because of her knees.  Thanks Rosie, and Happy Birthday!

March Goals, Week 4: Positivity

I was on a real high Sunday.  I was happy with my loss last week and I was really excited to see all the support and love I have behind me.  I got private messages, phone calls and texts.  You all know how to make a girl feel awesome.  My goal this week is to say 5 positive things that happened in my day.  I will share some with you.  Sunday's things included posting my blog, getting a call from both of my parents, getting a text from a really good friend and not having to leave the house all day.

I rewarded myself with Pizza on Monday and I was utterly disappointed.  I ordered a thin crust Chicken and Mushroom pizza.  I hated it.  I don't see the point in wasting the calories if it isn't going to be satisfying.  I can eat 2 slices for 500 calories.  There are much better tasting things I can have for those calories.  Maybe next time I will just get the wings.  I like those better anyway.  My positive things for Monday included another call from my Dad to ask me how much water he needed to make a recipe.  I love getting calls from my family to ask advice on cooking.  It must mean I'm doing something right.

Tuesday was a long day at work but I still made dinner when I got home.  I threw together Penne with Chicken and Turkey Meatballs.  I ate very little of the pasta but the meatballs were so good.  I just added some cumin, a couple eggs and a little panko and baked them for 20 minutes.  The recipe made 40 meatballs that were 26 calories each.  Tuesday's positive thoughts included that it was payday and I have a job.

I am becoming a really strong believer in a low carb lifestyle.  I have done hours of research on the subject and with my own personal experience, I don't think I will ever go back.  I sleep better, I have so much energy and I am losing without working very hard at it.  I know that I will have to start working out a lot more but for now, I am focused on food.  The month of March has been a real breakthrough month for me.

Friday I got off work an hour early, went to the grocery store and then headed home for a baking extravaganza.  My Aunt Nancy asked me to make the cake for my Uncle Rick's Surprise 50th Birthday.  I made a main Carrot Cake, which is his favorite, and then Orange Cremesicle, Chocolate Nutella and Caramel Apple Cupcakes.  Saturday I went to my sister's house to decorate them and hang out with her and my nephews.  Logan, who is 4 1/2 helped me make chocolate toppers but fell asleep before he could help me frost them.

Saturday night was the big party and we had a great time.  Then Sunday, I came back north to stay the night with at my sister's because I had to be in Olympia early on Monday.  I have such a good time with my nephews.  They are a big reason I am choosing to get healthy.  When one of them asks me to play tag or sit on the floor with them, I want to be able to do it.  Right now I just say I am too big.  Logan asked me to play freeze tag and I told him I couldn't run so he suggested we just walk really fast.  It's what I love most about him.  He is so considerate and genuine.

Monday I took my friend J to get a endoscopy.  My nephew Landon, who's 1 1/2, had woken us all up at 4:45 that morning.  Of course, he napped at 5:30.  I was pretty tired but stayed awake to get J home and back to his place.  I hung out with him for a bit to make sure he was ok and then started the 90 minute drive home.  I stopped in Grand Mound at McDonalds for food and ordered like my old self.  I ordered two 3-piece chicken selects and 2 McDoubles.  I ended up only eating one of each.  Old me would have slammed it all down before I hit Centralia.

All in all March was a great month.  I feel more focused and my mind feels clearer.  I got a lot of people encouraging me to keep it up and many comments on how I seemed happier.  I guess I just feel more alive.

March Goals Week 3

After posting my last blog, my cousin commented that the weight I lost is equivalent to her almost 4 year old son.  Putting it in those terms are crazy to me.  I lost a 4 year old.  Today I am wearing jeans that actually zip and button.  I can't tell you the last time I wore jeans that zipped.  I have been wearing stretchy pull on jeans for a while now.  I always try to look put together when I leave my house.  I am not one of those people who will wear their pajamas out in public.  My logic behind it is that I am already fat, why give someone more ammo to look down on me.

I have really been giving a peek into how my brain works.  I hope that it helps someone else reading this know that they aren't the only ones feeling or thinking this way.  Lately I have caught myself saying can't pretty frequently, like, "Oh, I can't eat that".  I feel like this is a really bad thing to say.  No one is telling me I can't have something.  I'm not even telling myself that.  I am choosing to change how I eat.  I have been consciously trying to replace can't in my vocabulary.  Nobody cares what you can't do, they want to know what you can or are going to do.

I went to the doctor on Tuesday and it turns out, the pain I was having is from Acid Reflux.  More specifically, Dyspepsia.  So, another new prescription and a list of foods to try to avoid.  The funny thing is, peppermint was on that list.  All week long I had been drinking peppermint herbal tea to calm my stomach.  I did get a high five from the doctor on my weight loss so that felt good.  She is pretty positive about my progress.  All my vitals and stuff were good, my blood pressure was excellent as well as my pulse and oxygen levels.

I did a seated YouTube exercise video Tuesday while editing photos and downloading content off my phone.  I made it through the entire 25 minutes with no problem.  I feel like I have been kicking ass at life lately.  My house is clean, I am organized, I am on my way to a healthier life, both mentally and physically.  I have crossed quite a few projects off my "Wanna-Do" list.  I even got photos hung back up in my house.

However, Thursday I didn't eat so well.  It wasn't a terrible day.  I only went over my calorie target by 100 but I ate the wrong stuff.  I had a Light Beef Bologna sandwich when I got home and then we had dinner with my Mom, Bruce, my sister Kari, Josh and my nephews Logan and Landon.  We went to a Mexican restaurant right next to my Mom's work .  I had saved about 1000 calories for the meal.  I had 750 but when I went home, a few hours later, I had a second bologna sandwich.  I can feel the difference in the type of food I ate.  When we got home last night, I had no energy to do anything and that led to sitting on the couch, watching tv and making that second sandwich.

I got up early on Friday morning and did a short 15 minute aerobic video before work.  I'm not really a morning person.  Sometimes it is hard enough to get to work by 7 am so I don't know if morning exercise will be my friend.  But, there isn't enough room anywhere but the living room to move around so unless I wanna interrupt my husband's night, morning it will have to be.  Saturday I did 20 minutes of a new resistant band routine.  It was fine but it didn't really challenge me so I won't do it again.

I can feel changes happening in my body.  I can tell right away when I have had too many carbs.  I get very lethargic.  My work is really paying off.  I weighed in on Sunday morning and am down a total on 43 lbs since December 9th.  My goal for 2015 was 50 lbs so I am sure I will get there.  My energy level has been down this week, especially Saturday.  I think PMS is creeping up on me.  My positive attitude has really improved my life as a whole though.  I didn't realize how unhappy and grumpy I was.  Finally making myself the focus is really helping.

I want to especially thank all of my Facebook friends and family for being so supportive.  With so many people in my corner, this change has been easy for me.  Even though the guys at work torture me with their junk food habits, I had been strong.  I know I have said it before, but this isn't a diet.  It is a lifestyle change.  I have made changes that are easily incorporated into everyday life.  I am still cooking regular dinners and eating out when it is necessary.  I guess what I am trying to say is that if you are struggling, know you are not alone and that you don't have to change your entire life just to lose some weight.

So, for my final week of March Goals, I am going to stay positive and get out of the house.  I am going to say 5 positive things that happened during the day before I go to bed and let the negative float away without wasting any of my time.  I am also going to do something after work 2 days this week.  Usually I race home and once I am home from work, I don't leave again.  This week I am going to either go for a walk, go shopping or hang out with friends after work.

March Goals - Week 2: Exercise

This week my focus will be on exercise.  Specifically my goal is to do 3 different work outs at least 3 days this week.  Last week I bought some resistance bands and a Biggest Loser Yoga DVD from Amazon so those will be two of the three.  The third I am thinking of simply taking a walk.  We have a gorgeous lake in the middle of town that has fantastic walking trails.  I have always been anxious about walking around the lake because it's out there in the open for all to see.

As confident as I am, I don't want someone to see me and laugh.  After I had my Gastric Bypass and lost 150 lbs, I felt so great about myself.  The problem was that out in public, people who didn't know me or my story, would make fun of me.  Cracking jokes, making comments, calling me names about my weight.  They didn't know I had just lost 1/3rd of myself.  It made me feel like wearing a t-shirt or carrying a sign around that said "I just lost 150 lbs, shut the fuck up".

That was 12 years ago.  I am much more secure in the person I am now but the pain and anxiety is still there.  It's the reason I stay home a lot more than I go out.  I only go places I am comfortable.  I missed out on going out with one of my best friends for his birthday because I couldn't stomach the thought of being in a packed club.  It is very rare for me to go to a new place without meticulously checking it out first.  If a new restaurant comes to town, I want to know what kind of tables and chairs they have.  These aren't things that thin people need to worry about.  These are reasons I am changing my life.

Did my first workout Tuesday night.  I chose to do the Full Body Resistance Band Workout - 20 Moves to Slim You Down & Tone You Up.  It is a 30 minute workout but I was only able to do 15 minutes.  It comes as no surprise that I am really out of shape.  The moves were simple enough though that I think I can slowly work my way up to the whole 30 minutes.  I like the resistance bands because as I move along and the workout gets easier for me, I can change out the band for the next strongest one and start the cycle again.

Wednesday my stomach was upset after lunch and then Thursday I had real trouble eating.  Nothing tasted good.  I brought Overnight Oats, a salad and leftover roasted veggies from last night's dinner but I couldn't get more than a few bites down.  My stomach hurt and I felt nauseous.  I left work about 1 and went straight home to bed.  I slept until around 7:30 and then went back to bed around 10.  I thought it was maybe something bad I had eaten but when it persisted through Friday I got a little more concerned.  Here it is Sunday and I am still in pain when I eat or move around too much.

That being said, I did not complete my goal for this week.  I just felt so crappy after doing just my regular house work that I couldn't work out.  I was not lazy though.  What I did was work on cleaning for as long as I could stomach, then sit until my stomach calmed down.  Then back I was cleaning or doing one of the many projects I have completed in the last week.  I will be sharing some of them with you but the biggest one, that I won't be sharing, is my nephew Landon's Quiet Book.  If you don't know what that is, check out the one I made for Logan here.

So for week 3 of March, I am going to continue with the pursuit of fitness.  I will hopefully be able to get into the doctor on Monday to see what is going on with my stomach.  On a bright note, I lost another 4.5 lbs so I am down a total of 34.5 lbs.

Diabetic Journal Week 6

Monday February 16th, 2015:
What a weekend!  Hope you all had a great Valentine's Day, I know I did.  Saturday Roger and I headed to his work and he taught me how to torch and weld.  Together we created an art piece for our 10th Anniversary.  It was a really special moment.  We have been really disconnected lately.  I guess that sometimes happens when you have been married a while.  You get into a rut and just take your partner for granted.  We both decided we needed to make more of an effort and it has really changed both of our attitudes and moods.

I am finding it easier and easier to make good choices.  I am also finding that my tastes are changing.  Sunday we went out to breakfast like we always do.  I had steak, eggs, tomato slices and toast.  Then, we headed up to my sister's to see my nephews.  We didn't get to see her but spent about 3 hours with the boys and Josh.  They always make me happier.  My Dad even stopped by.  We don't see each other very much because we live a few hours apart.

After we left there house though, I was so hungry.  Roger wanted Jack In The Box so we stopped.  I got a grilled chicken sandwich with no sauces and without even thinking ordered a large fry and large Iced Tea.  I guess old habits don't ever completely die.  I ended up eating maybe 5 fries.  They just didn't taste the same.  So I ate my sandwich and was satisfied with it.  Before, a single sandwich would have never done that.  That night we went out with some friends for Chinese.  I ordered something called Three Ingredients.  It was scallops, shrimp and chicken with the normal Chinese vegetables.  It was really good.  I could have ate the entire plate but forced myself to stop and take the rest home.

Wednesday February 18th, 2015:
The weather in Washington has been so beautiful.  It seems like Spring is coming early.  Not sure what that means for our Summer but I will take it for now.  I have been doing sitting exercises at my desk this week.  While it may not seem like much, it is a lot more than I was doing.  I found a video series on YouTube called Launchpad from LiveExercise.  I am hoping that while having to sit all day, it will at least get me moving.  I did find a couple parts harder that others.  It at least got my heart beating a little faster and got me breathing.

Thursday February 19th, 2015:
I've talked on this blog before about my Mom's awesome lasagna.  I've also talked about my husband's annoyance when I mess with a good recipe.  Well I have been craving it something fierce so I decided to change it up a little without telling him.  Instead of all ground beef, I mixed 1 lb ground beef and 1 lb ground pork.  I also switched out the regular full fat cream cheese for a low fat onion and chive cream cheese.  It was seriously good.  A serving was 671 calories, 38 grams of fat and 27 carbs.  While it's a little high on fat, it was well worth it.

It sort of feels weird to me to analyze everything I eat.  I used to eat whatever and whenever I wanted.  I have actually proven to myself how much willpower I have.  After eating one piece of lasagna last night, I really wanted more but I forced myself to sit for at least 30 minutes and if I still wanted more then I would have some.  Sure enough, after 30 minutes, I was good.  About 2 hours later I made myself some plain popcorn and had a yogurt.  The popcorn provides some great fiber while the yogurt satisfies my sweet tooth.  I found a 100 calorie Greek yogurt by Yoplait with less that 10 carbs.

Tonight for dinner I made T-Bone steaks with roasted broccoli and baked potatoes.  This was the first time I have had a baked potato in a very long time.  I chose the smallest one in the bag and ate it plain but 2 hours after dinner my blood sugar was 144.  The nutritionist I saw said that a regular blood sugar after eating should be less than 180 but it kind of freaked me out.  I haven't been that high in a while.  I have been consistently between 80 and 120.  How often do others check their blood sugar?  I have been checking once or twice a day.

Sunday February 22nd, 2015:
I am nursing a little hangover this morning but I had such a good time.  We went out with some friends in Elma to sing Karaoke.  It's been a while and I have really missed it.  We had our normal Sunday breakfast routine but I wasn't able to eat much.  Roger just kept giggling at me and saying "I told you so".  Later in the day, while watching the Daytona 500, I was able to eat some popcorn and then even later I made some Roasted Broccoli and I felt pretty good after that.  Drank about a half gallon of water and some herbal tea throughout the day so around 3 I was feeling pretty normal.  There is a big change in the snacking habits at our house.  Plain popcorn and broccoli were never around before.  It was cookies and chips or crackers.

Friday night after work I tried out a Yoga program that I had on the DVR.  It was much harder than I anticipated.  My balance is terrible.  I have been looking on Amazon for some Yoga videos for obese people.  Roger has back problems and I heard yoga can help you become more flexible so I am hoping we can try it together.  I did have him do my Launchpad exercise video with me and he was a good sport.  I am also looking at some resistance bands to make my chair work outs a little more challenging.

Tuesday February 24th, 2015
Today was a weak day.  I had a long day at work and on my way home, I stopped at Starbucks.  I had a free drink on my card so I ordered a Venti White Mocha Frappucino.  Ya know what though?  I took maybe 5 drinks from it and was done.  It was a combination of knowing I didn't want to feel sick after drinking it and not wanting to derail just because I had a bad day.  Win for Kristy!!

Diabetic Journal - Week 4 & 5

Wednesday February 4th, 2015:
Yesterday I went in for some routine blood tests.  My results were online this morning and I have lowered my A1C from 6.9 to 6.2 and raised my iron level from a 9 to a 22.  While the iron level is still low, it is a great improvement.  Small things like this give me great encouragement to keep at it.  I also did my first real work out yesterday.  It was nothing too strenuous but I felt really good after.

Monday February 9th, 2015:
Last week had some pretty drastic ups and downs.  While the first set of test results were good, the second set was not.  I am extremely vitamin deficient.  My levels of Vitamin D, B-12, Iron and Calcium are so low that I am going to be on prescriptions.  I will even need to take shots for the B-12 and Vitamin D.   I also have extremely high levels of protein in my urine which can mean many things but the main concern is Kidney Disease.  I will have to do a 24 hour collection.

I unfortunately got this news about an hour before Roger and I left to go on a 3 day trip to the beach to celebrate our 10th Anniversary.  I tried to put it out of my mind but I thought about it a lot.  We did have a really good time though.  We got up close and personal with some deer, gambled, played at the arcade, took a walk, and went swimming.  The swimming thing was such a huge deal because Roger hadn't been able to go in water for the last 3 years or so while he dealt with a wound on his leg that just wouldn't heal.

I ate pretty well on vacation but did indulge in a doughnut when we left town.  It was the first sugary thing I had ate in 2 months.  It wasn't as good as I remembered.  We went to the grocery store on the first day so we could make sure I had some healthy snacking options.  I don't know about you, but when I am on vacation, I kinda want to splurge.  I was pretty proud of myself and even lost 2 lbs over the week.

Tuesday February 10th, 2015:
The struggle is real everyone.  I had such an intense sugar craving today.  The worst I have had since I started.  I went to Safeway to buy about 6 things that we needed and they have these clearance carts in the back of the store near the milk and eggs.  I got the milk and was headed towards the eggs when I zeroed in on them.  They were filled with the bags of mini candies like York mini patties which are my favorite.  I passed them, with my eyes glued, but then snapped out of my trance and realized I had forgotten the eggs.  I had to pass the carts 2 more times to get the eggs and head back the way I was.  Then, at the checkout counter, the king size candy bars were buy 2, get 2 free.  It literally took me white knuckling the cart not to grab them and throw them on the conveyor belt.  Once I was out of the store I sat in my car and just breathed really deep and patted myself on the back for not buying them.  How is that for a glimpse inside a food addicts mind?

Thursday February 12th, 2015:
Today is our Anniversary.  Roger and I have been married for 10 years.  It really doesn't seem like that long.  Like any marriage, we have had our struggles.  The first 2 years and the last 2 years have been pretty rough.  When they say marriage takes work, it really does.  For us, being a couple without kids, I think it is even harder.  We only have each other.  There are no kids to take the focus off one another.  It also causes us to get in a rut where we come home, eat dinner, watch TV and go to bed.  I think that's how we both gained so much weight.  We stopped doing things.  We are slowly working our way out of our rut though and I look forward to many more years together.

I got my test results back from my 24 hour urine catch and my protein levels were really high.  The doctor says that means my kidneys are damaged, most likely from the diabetes.  What happens is the elevated sugar levels damage the nerves in the organs.  The same thing can happen with high blood pressure.  The course of action is to take another prescription in hopes of not causing any more damage.  There is no way to reverse what has already happened.  The news really sent me into a depression spin.

Why is this happening?  What did I do wrong?  Why all at once?  They say you're never given more than you can handle so I guess I must be stronger than I think.  I stowed myself away in the bedroom last night and thought about all that is going on.  I kinda ruined our Anniversary plans by being in such a mood but I needed the time to process all of this.  I am not good at pretending to be happy.  Ask anyone who is around me a lot.  I wear my emotions on my sleeve.  My conclusion was that staying on the path I am on is the best way to handle this.  Losing weight will help with my diabetes and then everything can trickle from there.

Friday February 13th, 2015:
I woke up this morning in a much better mood.  I'm down another couple pounds and I just feel good.  The sunrise on the way to work was gorgeous.  I guess today I am just thankful.  I am thankful for my family, my friends, my job, and my life.  There are people much worse off than I am.  No more pity parties for me.  I am moving onward and upward.  Nothing can stop me!  Watch out world!