Kristy's Weight Loss Journey: I Jumped Ship

I jumped off the weight loss ship.  I took off my FitBit.  I stopped going to the gym.  I haven't been on Instagram.  I haven't opened the blog page.  I haven't logged or weighed my food.  It's been about 2 weeks.  But guess what?  My weight hasn't changed.  I haven't went up or down.  Let me take you back to my last blog and let's go from there.

In my last blog I was talking about my experience with Intermittent Fasting and the Keto lifestyle.  With Intermittent Fasting, I found myself being stuffed and feeling sick in the evenings.  The first two weeks weren't bad but after that I just felt like it wasn't working for me.  I can see how it would work for some people.  And perhaps for me, the lack of carbs and the fasting were a bad combination.  As far as Keto, I am not strict about it and I do not test my ketones.  I just stick with super low carb, avoiding bread, potatoes, pasta and rice.

I had about a week vacation planned so I knew I wouldn't be tracking my food.  I decided to leave my FitBit at home so I wouldn't have to worry about charging it while away.  The only thing I miss about it is looking at the time.  I have been at this for 20 months now.  I still want to lose more weight but I don't have a time limit.  I also don't want to have to miss out on some fun because I am afraid of what to eat or drink.  So on vacation, I ate, drank and was generally merry.

I left from work on Tuesday afternoon and headed to Olympia to pick up my sister.  Her and I then drove up to the Bainbridge Island area to the Clearwater Casino and Resort to meet our friend Brenda for a few days.  Brenda was at a work conference but she was free at night.  Tuesday night we went to a fee comedy show at the Sports Bar at the Resort.  They had an incredible deal of a burger, a beer and a shot for $10!  We all got Fireball and burgers and laughed our butts off.

The next morning we had Crab Benedict on the terrace before Brenda had to go off to class.  Kari and I ventured into town for a little shopping.  I got a killer deal on some clearance clothes at Target and some nice stuff at a consignment shop called Curvy QT.  When Brenda was done for the day we went to the pool and hot tub and laid out there for a while.  We came back, took showers and headed to dinner at the buffet.

Thursday morning we had breakfast at the cafe again and said our goodbyes.  Kari and I headed to our Mom's to pick her up and then we went to Kari's and Mom and I headed to my house.  We stopped in Longview and picked up my husband to go to the Oregon Dunes near Winchester Bay.  I was in the car from 8 am until around 5 pm.  By the time we got there, I was completely done.  I had some drinks and don't remember much after that until I woke up the next day.

We basically sat around the campfire for the next 2 days and just relaxed.  Thank goodness we did because our drive home on Saturday was a crazy one.  We got stopped once for a brush fire and a second time by 5 police cars blocking I-205 for a hostage situation.  Our 6 hour drive turned into 9 hours.  When we finally got home, around 5 pm, we both went to bed.  I woke up 13 hours later, feeling amazing.

Back to work on Monday and back on my routine.  I skipped the gym Monday because work was a bit crazy but Tuesday I did a heavy arm day.  Then Wednesday I had a doctor's appointment on Vancouver so I had to miss and Thursday I did squats which nearly killed me.  I had zero energy and every movement felt extremely heavy.  Friday I was the sorest I have ever been.  My abs, legs, arms and shoulders hurt so badly.

All in all, I am still going to be losing weight, just not being so stringent.  I will probably go back to tracking my food and my exercise but I may not use my FitBit much more.  In order to make this more sustainable, I have to be able to do it without any of these tools.  To know my body's needs and capabilities.  Losing weight is the easy part of all of this.  The mental struggle is by far the hardest.

Weight Loss Journey: Not Giving Up

I am very frustrated and depressed.  This thyroid issue is pissing me off.  I started medication the first of April.  Almost 8 weeks later and I am still in the low 390s.  The first 5 weeks, I was very diligent in staying under 2000 calories and working out 4 or 5 times a week.  I did drop from 399 to 395 but the last 3 weeks I have been pretty lax and not working out very much.  My low weigh in was 390.4 and my highest was 396.2.  I know weight can fluctuate but it is getting frustrated.

I'll be honest with you all.  Maybe I wasn't working as hard as I should have been.  In my mind I was telling myself I was working as hard as I could and eating as healthy as possible.  But honestly, I wasn't.  I was being lazy in the gym and letting my mind tell me I was tired or wore out when I actually wasn't.  And while I was staying in my caloric goals according to my tracking, I was eating things and not tracking them.  That number on the scale was really getting under my skin.

I decided to start looking at old photos for some inspiration, to show myself how far I have come.  Apparently I didn't really let anyone take full body shots of me.  I did find a photo from March 2016 in the same dress that I wore to a friends wedding on May 21st.  Like I said, my weight hasn't dropped but maybe 5 lbs in this time period but I can tell there is a body difference.  My hips, belly and midsection look slimmer.

I don't have much else to talk about at the moment but I wanted to show that even I get bogged down.  And even though that damn scale isn't showing any changes, there are great changes going on in my body.  My sister, Mom and nephews came down the other day to have lunch with me.  We went to a local park and played on the toys.  I would have never been able to climb up the ladders or slide down the slides a year ago.  I even ran with the 2 year old and I wasn't dead tired afterward.  This is the reason I started.  I wanted to be able to play with my nephews and maybe, some day, a child of my own.  Only time will tell but I am not giving up.

Weight Loss Journey: Food Addiction and Obsession

addiction - noun
the fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity.
"he committed the theft to finance his drug addiction"
synonyms: dependency, dependence, habit, problem

This was a facebook thing but I thought it was so fitting.

I think I have always been a food addict.  Always thinking about what I could be eating.  Thinking about Lunch as I am finishing Breakfast.  Hiding snacks in my bedroom.  Hiding the evidence of what I had eaten.  It's a shameful thing.  I did my best to hide it in my teens and 20s but it was obvious I was gaining weight.

"A food addiction or eating addiction is a behavioral addiction that is characterized by the compulsive consumption of palatable (i.e., high fat and high sugar) foods – the types of food which markedly activate the reward system in humans and other animals – despite adverse consequences."

The thing about food addiction is that you can't live without it.  You can't just stay away from food.  It is essential to your survival.  Alcoholics can avoid alcohol, and situations involving it.  Food addicts can avoid restaurants but you have to eat.  And in my family, food seems to always be the way we get together.  Birthdays, Christmas, Easter, it doesn't matter, we are having a meal.  My first question is always, what are we having and what can I bring.

Have you ever sat down to watch a movie or tv with a bag of chips or cookies and suddenly realized that you have eaten the entire bag?  That was me all the time.  And in College, I had an hour break between work and class.  I would always spend that hour eating a bag of fast food while studying or finishing homework,.  I was spending $10 to $20 a day on fast food.  That habit continued into adulthood.

When I had Gastric Bypass in 2003, I thought I had broken that cycle.  I was determined that this physical change I had made in my body would cure my mental illness.  But, it was only a matter of time before my addiction took over again.  18 months ago, I was back in the cycle pretty hard.  Buying breakfast and lunch everyday.  Spending every extra cent on snacks and junk food.  I was drinking liters of Diet Coke daily.  I thought everything was great, but don't all addicts?

When I finally decided I had to change my life, it was my head that changed.  I had been to therapy, read every bit of research I could, tried every diet, and every pill.  Nothing worked until my brain changed.  I've dropped 105 lbs in the last 15 months.  But now my addiction has switched to a Diet Obsession.

obsession - noun
1. the state of being obsessed with someone or something.
"she cared for him with a devotion bordering on obsession"
2. an idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person's mind.
plural noun: obsessions
"he was in the grip of an obsession he was powerless to resist"
synonyms: fixation, passion, mania, compulsion, preoccupation

I count every calorie of everything that goes into my mouth.  I log it on MyFitnessPal and use my FitBit to keep track of my calories burned vs my calories ingested.  I watch YouTube videos on diets, weight lifting and calorie counting.  I plan my meals out a week in advance and eat the same exact thing for Breakfast, Lunch and Post-Workout, every day of the work week.  It's a numbers game and it's driving me insane.

Typical Dinner in my house includes a baked potato with a little cheese, chicken breast and green beans, along with a glass of V8 juice.

Since October 1st, nearly 6 months, I have only dropped 10 lbs.  I've been on this giant plateau where I have tried so many changes.  I've dropped my calories, upped my workouts, used some supplements and now I have added in a protein shake.  I am burning 3500 calories and ingesting about 2000.  This leaves me a 1500 calorie deficit and over a week, that equals a 10500 calorie deficit.  A pound is equal to 3500 calories, therefore, I should be losing around 3 lbs a week.  So what the heck is the problem here?

Two typical days for me.  Around 5000 steps, 4000 calories burned and a work out tracked.

I go to a nutritionist on Thursday this week but in the mean time, I am completely freaking out over this stuff.  Constantly talking about it with my husband and trying to do research on what I am doing wrong.  Is it a thyroid issue?  Have I done metabolic damage to myself?  Am I destined to be this weight?  Am I gaining muscle instead?  It is on my mind at all times and has seriously become an obsession/addiction.  Maybe I will never recover from this.

Weight Loss Journey: How My Gym Make Me Feel...

I hear a lot of flack about Planet Fitness not being a "real" gym.  I call bullshit.  Planet Fitness has everything a regular gym has, plus more.  I don't share a lot about my gym experience.  It's not overly exciting.  I go 3-5 days a week.  If you follow me on Instagram, you see photos from most of my workouts.  There are even days where I go twice.  I mostly keep to myself, wearing ear buds and doing my own thing.  Occasionally I have someone talk to me.  I wave to the familiar people.  In fact, I have met some really great people.

I have had only two bad experiences.  The first, a younger woman asked me not to breath so hard on the elliptical.  I apologized and said I thought that was the point of working out but maybe I had it wrong.  Then, a few days ago, an older woman came up to me and told me if I worked a bit harder, the weight would just fall off.  After I informed her I had already lost 100 lbs in 14 months, she said it again and followed it up with, "Just a friendly tip".  I just walked away from her.  I mentioned this experience when talking to a fellow gym member and he was astounded.  He noted that I work really hard and my paces and RPMs are even higher than his own.

But, for those two bad experiences, I have had at least 20 great ones.  I could start with the employees.  Misty at the front counter greets me with a smile EVERY DAY.  She knows my name, says hello and offers me tips and advice, even sometimes in a British accent.  Aspen, the trainer, is also really nice.  Even though I have never taken any of his classes, he goes out of his way to say hello and answer any questions I have.  Andrew, another employee has seen me come in twice a day at times and is always there with a hello and a goodbye.

Out on the floor, I see some of the same people, day in and day out.  There is Chad who started a conversation with me about an invention and now comes by if I am on a machine just to say hello.  We had a conversation a few days ago about this very blog.  Then there is Jake who never misses a chance to smile and give me a fist bump of encouragement.  And Bob, an older man, who approached me because he wanted to know how I got started and how he could help his daughter who is overweight and has diabetes.  Another person I see nearly daily, I don't know her name, but I call her Walker Lady.  We have talked a few times.  She waits for the bus and wishes me a good day as I leave.  She trucks on her walker through the gym, using the treadmill, stationary bike and weight machines.  She's amazing.

My most interesting conversations happen in the locker room.  There are a few women who I see as I am coming in and a few I see as I am heading out.  There is Rosie who has been coming to the gym longer than I have.  Her husband has diabetes and she comes to the gym to get away.  Another woman who's doctor warned her that her cholesterol was high and she needed to start working out.  She is thin and has always been active.  She didn't understand.  I was late back to work one day because we had such a long conversation.

I write this blog because I want you, reading this, to know that the gym isn't as scary as it seems.  It's become my home away from work, my break in my day and my sanctuary.  If you have a Planet Fitness near you, check them out.  Also, don't stick to one part of the gym.  Do more than what you know or may be easy.  At Planet Fitness, all the machines have pictures and instructions on how to use them.  Give them a shot.  If you already go to a gym, how does your gym make you feel?

Weight Loss Journey: 2015 - The Year of Me

I hope you all had a great Christmas.  This past month, I have taken a bit of a break from blogging.  Christmas time is always very hectic for us.  Between multiple family, work and friend get-togethers, we still had to work and keep the house up.  Adulting is hard.

My oldest nephew Logan.  One of the rare photos that isn't blurred.  Kids move fast.

I have been bouncing between 405 and 415 for more than a month.  It seems my body is comfortable at this weight and activity level.  I am fine with that.  I can buy clothes at a store, not just online.  I am really active and flexible.  I am happy, healthy and hopeful.  However, I would like to lose 50 to 100 more pounds.  But I have to remember the number on the scale means nothing if I am miserable.

I have always lived my life trying to do as much as I can for others.  My family, my husband, my friends.  But 2015 was the year of Me.  It was the year I came out of my depression and started enjoying life again.  I didn't even know how depressed I was.  2015 wasn't all about my weight loss.  100 lbs is no small feat, but the year was also about self awareness, self love and self confidence.  In short, I feel incredible.

Me and my nephew Landon, using my selfie stick

I have met so many people in the last year that have lifted me up and supported me.  I have made friends locally and across the US in what I call my "Fat Chat".  I have also had family and friends send me messages and tell me personally how great I am doing.  It makes me incredibly proud of myself.  My blog has gotten so many more followers and I am thankful for each and every person who reads this.  Recently my blog was shared on a weight loss website, across Facebook and Twitter.  It's amazing.  I hope I inspire some of you to get healthier.  I know I am inspired by you all.

This is Christmas 2014 and Christmas 2015.

I am not one for New Years resolutions so I am just going to state a few things for 2016:
#1-I want to continue eating healthy and tracking my calories.
#2-I want to continue my exercise habits by working out at least 3 days a week.
#3-I want to strengthen my relationship with Roger.
#4-I want to continue to save money for our futures.
#5-I want to be a better friend by making more time to visit people.
#6-More craft and food blogs, less weight loss blogs.

What are your hopes for 2016?  Will you be joining me on my journey?

Weight Loss Journey: The Good, the Bad and the Gain

I have been mulling over this blog for a week now.  In fact, I wasn't going to write about it at all.  Just ignore it and maybe it will go away.  But that is how I got to be over 500 lbs in the first place.  And after talking to my sister, she convinced me that this blog needs to be truthful and genuine.  She is absolutely right.  So I must say that I have gained back some weight.  About 7 pounds actually.  Here is where I could list my excuses, but for me, they are not excuses, they are mistakes.  And mistakes can be corrected and learned from.

Two weeks ago I opened an email with the subject line "Invoice and Receipt for Payment".  Thinking nothing of it I downloaded the contents.  Mistake #1.  The email turned out to be a Ransomware Virus that corrupted my computer along with my work and personal flash drives that were plugged in.  I lost every document and photo on all three devices.  I had a friend come over to see if he could save anything but he wasn't able to.  He had to wipe my computer and reload windows.  Thank goodness that it didn't touch anything in my accounting program.

I spent the next 2 days reloading all my programs.  I was so involved in it that I skipped the gym.  Mistake #2.  Instead of taking my lunch break and going to the gym to relieve some stress, I sat at my desk and ate junk.  I went to the gas station a few doors down and got chips, candy and soda.  Mistake #3.  This was an old behavior that I thought I was over but those old habits die hard.  Have I mentioned I don't handle stress very well?

I worked 17 hours overtime in those 2 weeks.  My "at home" meals suffered too. Mistake #4.  I didn't plan ahead and waited way too long to eat some days.  This meant that I didn't make dinner most nights and either ate out or I threw something together.  I had pizza, Chinese, fast food and other comfort food.  I also didn't log my food consistently.  Eating like crap and being stressed about work made me feel like crap.  That in turn made me not want to do anything.  In short, I was lazy and lackadaisical.

On Thanksgiving, I wrapped the Christmas presents while I watched the Macy's parade.  We went to a friend's house for dinner and had a wonderful time.  There was no stress.  By Saturday, I had pulled myself out of my funk.  I took a trip alone to St. Helens, OR and finished my Christmas shopping.  Then, after I got home, Roger and I went to Fred Meyer to shop for boots.  I ended up getting them at Payless.  I got two pair for a little over $50.  I weighed myself again this morning, December 1st, and I was back to 410.  Which means I am 7 lbs from my 100 lb goal.  While this is a set back, it's not going to stop me.

Weight Loss Journey: My 10 Tips For Weight Loss

I have been at this for almost a year now and have had great personal success.  I can't even complain.  It has been relatively easy for me to make these changes.  Yes, there have been struggles and set backs but I have never let it completely take me down.  In no way have I or my journey been perfect.  I just want to encourage people while I am changing my life.

I have had many people ask me for help and want me to tell them how they too can be successful.  I honestly can't give advice.  There is no magic formula, no pill, shake, meal plan or hypnosis that will work.  You can want to lose weight, and try, but if you are not in it wholeheartedly, you won't succeed.  Losing weight is basically a math problem.  You have to burn more calories than you intake.

Here is what I did:
#1 - Made a mental change.  A switch flipped in my head.  Your brain, stomach and heart all have to agree on this change.  They may fight at times but as long as you stay strong, they will all come together.

#2 - Deleted soda and all other sweet drinks from my life.  I was drinking about a liter of Diet Coke per day, along with at least 1 coffee drink.  A Venti quad shot white chocolate peppermint mocha has 660 calories.  Not to mention the amount of sugar and fat.  While I haven't given up coffee completely, I have changed the way I drink it.  The same goes for soda.  I still have the occasional Diet Coke.  But I limit it to one.

#3 - Kept a food journal.  I use MyFitnessPal to track everything I eat.  You can customize your settings or it can help you find ones right for you.  It has an extensive library of foods.  You can even input recipes and exercise.  I keep track of EVERYTHING that I eat.  You can't think,"Oh, it's just a mini-snickers or a small bag of chips".  It all counts.

#4 - Stopped eating fast food.  There is an occasional trip thru the drive thru but mostly I avoid it all together.  There are too many temptations and hidden calories.

#5 - Also dropped 90% of the dairy and carbs from my diet.  I will still eat small amounts of each but mostly, they are both out of my life.  Both made me feel sluggish and lethargic.  If you feel like that a lot, take a look at your plate.

#6 - Meal Prep.  I think meal prep is probably the most important part of this.  I have talked about it a few times.  Take a few moments on the weekend, sit down and make your weekly menu.  Plan breakfasts, lunches, dinners and snacks.  Then go get groceries.  Prep your meats and your veggies when you get home.  If your food is readily available, you will be less tempted to stray from your plan.

#7 - I took it easy on myself.  Not every day is perfect.  You won't eat great all the time but that doesn't mean you ruined it.  I've heard the analogy that if you got a flat tire, you wouldn't slash the other three.  You fix the tire and get back on the road.  I took it one step at a time.  Got my food schedule down and then added exercise, then personal reflection.  Don't jump in the pool with your clothes on.  Take it easy.

#8 - I found support.  Not only are all my friends and family on Facebook and huge support system but I have joined some chat groups and websites where there are people on the same journey as me.  We can commiserate and cheer each other on from opposite sides of the oceans.

#9 - Took my mental temperature.  Throughout this entire process, I have been checking in with myself, mentally.  As you are changing your outward appearance, you inner self is also changing.  You have to adjust to your clothes fitting differently, your self image changing and your self esteem changing.  I hated looking at myself in the mirror and taking photos before.  I now love it.  Although I am not to my goal weight yet, I have such a different view of my body as a whole.  I am healthier than I have been since my teens.

#10 - I got up and got out.  After I got my food in check, I started moving.  At first, I just started walking.  I could only go a few minutes without stopping.  Now, I can do 10 straight minutes without having to stop, due to the pain in my foot.  I am far stronger that I was.

I hope some of these tips helped.  No every person loses weight the same so what works for me, may not work for you.  Tread your own weight loss path.  But never give up.

Weight Loss Journey: Struggling

Ugh!  I have written and rewritten this blog several times over the last month.  A few things have happened this month and I wasn't sure if I wanted to talk about them.  Usually my blog is all about positivity and encouragement.  Let me tell you, this month, it has not been so easy.  I have been really struggling.  No only with my weight loss but with my emotions and my self control.  I again chose not to weigh myself until November 1st.  So, at the time I am writing this part, I have not weighed in.

I had a falling out with a friend of 13 years.  I think I finally just opened my eyes and listened to everyone who was telling me he was a bad person to be around.  I saw through the lies and decided I didn't need his negativity anymore.  I can't save him from himself.  There was no fight or screaming match, I just stopped talking to him and blocked him on all social media.  I did make a new friend through him that I am happy is a part of my life now.  A positive, uplifting person with no agenda.

Early in October I was working a lot on Fabric Pumpkins for my sister to sell for me at her craft fairs.  We made 75 total and they are now all gone.  (I did keep 2 for myself).  The extra time I needed for them took away from me making dinner every night and I got off track a bit.  My own fault for not planning accordingly.  In fact one night I was up for 26 hours and ate an entire pizza to myself.  Not one of my proudest moments.

On the 10th, I got a new tattoo.  I actually got my star covered with a cow.  If you have known me for a while, you know cows are my favorite animal.  Well, while it was healing, I didn't wear my FitBit because that's the wrist I wear it on.  I think that really hindered me.  It allowed me to do things without thinking and assume that I had burned more calories than I had.

The day after we went to a party.  It was a reunion of sorts for our family owned shop.  It was filled with faces that I hadn't seen in so long and it was such a great time.  My only mistake was not sitting down all night.  I am not used to standing so much and I really paid for it the next day.  Not only was I hungover, but my knees and ankles hurt so badly.  We went to the World of Speed Museum in Portland with out Car Club.  I'm afraid I was no fun.  I had to keep sitting and really felt like crap.

Then there was an entire week where I was so tired.  We had "fend for yourself" dinners 3 nights that week.  I also went to the store a few times and bought candy bars and other snacks.  Found out a few days later that it was PMS which strangely made me feel better.  I also only went to the gym twice that week.  I felt like I was eating like crap and I was spiraling.  I did grab the reins and reeled it in by the end of the month so I am anxious to see where my loss is.

The results:  So I didn't lose any weight this month.  Well, actually 0.2 lbs.  While I am disappointed in myself, I really can't rely fully on the scale.  I have come so far in the last 10 1/2 months.  I did take my measurements this month.  I lost 2 inches off my stomach, 2 inches off my arms, 1 inch off my bust and 3 inches off my thighs.  So, while I need to buckle down to meet my 100 lb goal by December 9th, I am happy with my changes.

Weight Loss Journey: A Month Without a Scale

On September 1st, I weighed myself, took my measurements and hid my scale in the bottom of my hope chest, vowing not to take it out again until October 1st.  Things were getting too obsessive for me.  I was weighing myself daily and little set backs were causing me way too much mental anguish.  I decided to let myself relax this month and see what happened.

What happened was a much happier Kristy and still a 7 lb weight loss.  I am now 93 lbs down and not one bit miserable.  I let go of the obsessive thoughts.  I let go of always having to know what i was going to eat.  I became more spontaneous and enjoyed eating again.  I still kept track of my food, but not every day and I still went to the gym at least 3 times a week.

Guess what?  I ate out, I ate fast food, I drank and I had chocolate cake.  And I didn't fail.  I lived life and that's what this is about.  "Even if you stumble, you're still moving forward."  I made smart choices, had smaller portions and didn't deprive my cravings.  Guys, I am a changed woman!  I'm never looking back.

Weight Loss Journey: Discovering

Guys, I ran this week.  I didn't run far and it wasn't a fast pace but I ran.  Roger and I went for a walk on Tuesday after work down at this industrial park in town.  They have nice sidewalks and open areas without any businesses nearby.  The sidewalk is lined with street lights and fire hydrants.  I chose to run between every other set of street lights.  I'm not saying it was easy but I sure did enjoy it.  I haven't ran in years.  Another part of my workout that day, and something else I haven't done in years, was using a jump rope.  I also bought a skirt at Target, in a 3X.  It's been a week of rediscovering things.  Along this journey, I discover new things about food, exercise and my own body every week.  I'm 34 years old and thought I knew everything about myself.  Wrong-o.

If you ask any one of my family or friends, they will tell you I am not really a girly girl.  I wear make up maybe once a year and my hair is always in a ponytail.  I am a T-shirt and jeans girl.  But, as of late, I have been wearing make-up and doing my hair daily.  It really freaked my boss out.  He thought I was going on job interviews.  One night, I braided my hair in small braids after watching a YouTube tutorial on awesome beach waves.  It turned out a frizzy mess.  Check out that photo.

I have been on an absolute egg kick lately.  I get the Lucerne Best of the Egg-Original.  It's 99% egg whites with turmeric to make it yellow.  Half a cup has only 60 calories.  I've been making what I call, Green Eggs.  It's basically any green vegetables that I have and eggs.  Last week was zucchini, avocado and salad greens.  This week is spinach, avocado, broccoli and peas.  I love to top it with Sriracha.  This week, I also added some smoked salmon that my husband made.  It is so good and this breakfast is packed with vitamins, good fats and protein.  It keeps me full until after noon.

Another thing that seems to curb my appetite is coffee.  I have been cold brewing my own coffee at home.  Basically you just steep the ground coffee overnight and strain out the grounds.  It's easy and delicious.  Well, I ran out last week and decided maybe I didn't actually need it.  On the second day, I was so hungry.  I thought nothing of it until day 3 and day 4 where I could not control my appetite.  The next day was Friday and I stopped by my beloved Starbucks for a caffeine fix.  Well, that day, the hunger stopped.  I ate my breakfast and made it to lunch without wanting anything else.  So, I guess coffee and I are back together.

Finally, this last paragraph is where I usually tell you how much I have lost since my last blog.  I am sad to say I haven't.  I have hit another plateau.  Not sure the reason, I feel like I am doing exactly what I was before.  So on September first, I weighed in at 417, took all my measurements and then put the scale and measuring tape away.  I will not touch them for an entire month.  I was getting a little too obsessive and weighing myself daily.  But, I know I have gained a lot of muscle.  I can feel muscles in my arms and legs.  I have abs under my rolls.  I know because they are sore after certain workouts.  I joined a Facebook group a few weeks ago that showed me different exercises I could do and asked that the members participate by commenting, leaving photos and other stuff.  I actually won the contest the final week.  I am not giving up, nor am I discouraged.  It's just another time for me to discover a solution.

Weight Loss Journey: Nephew Adventures, Gym Etiquette and Meal Prep

A few weekends ago we had my nephew Logan over.  He is almost 5 and really energetic.  We decided to surprise him and take him to the beach on Saturday.  He had so much fun playing in the sand and at the playground we found.  He and I even walked through the Battery at Fort Columbia.  My only problem was he kept running off from me and it was freaking me out.  I am not up to 5 year old speed yet.

At the park, I decided to see if my skills were still up to par.  Nope!  I realized I could not hang for any more than a few seconds.  So I set a goal for myself to be able to do Monkey Bars again at some point.  I did climb the large toy in the center of the playground.  And while I was too afraid to do much else, it felt great to be up there.  I also clocked in 8 flights of stairs on my FitBit by going up and down.  If you think, because you are a Mom, you don't have time for a workout, you are wrong.  Just get out there and play with the kids.  Plus, swinging is so much fun!

I have been at Planet Fitness for 4 months now and have made a few observations I would like to share.  These are not be being judgmental, just things I see:
#1 - Get off your phone while you are working out.  Leave your phone in your locker and enjoy your workout.  I see people sitting on machines, texting or even talking.  It's rude to other people in the gym and there is no way you are focusing on your workout.
#2 - Light gray yoga pants are not a smart choice.  Just an observation but when you sweat, that color yoga pants changes color.  I felt bad for one woman.  It looked like she had wet herself.
#3 -  Make friends.  If, like me, you go to the gym at a certain time every day, it is likely that you see some of the same people.  Say hi, smile, be friendly.  You are both there for the same reason.

Through this journey I have spent many Sundays meal prepping.  Honestly, the biggest plus is that I can sleep in a bit.  My most recent set of prep included roasted vegetables (carrots, zucchini and broccoli), boiled chicken and quinoa.  I prefer to eat this kind of food for breakfast, having a morning snack at 11 and then lunch at 2:30 after my workout.  This particular week, my 11 am snack was the Kale Power Salad that I have talked about before and my 2:30 salad of greens, ground turkey and feta.  After the first day, I decided to modify the base meal and have a hot breakfast.

Here is exactly what was in each day's meal:
1.25 cups Roasted Vegetables, 1 cup boiled chicken thighs, 1 cup cooked quinoa (480 calories)
Day 1:  No Modification
Day 2:  Add 2 over easy eggs (add 147 calories)
Day 3:  Add 1 cup chicken stock (add 80 calories)
Day 4:  Add 1/2 cup egg substitute (add 62 calories)
Day 5:  Add 1/4 cup egg substitute and 1/4 cup mozzarella cheese (add 101 calories)
It was so good, healthy and filling.

From July 15th to August 15th, I only lost 6 lbs.  It was a rough month.  My weight loss has definitely slowed down.  In fact, I had not gained but I hadn't lost in over 2 weeks.  I did some research online, asked my fellow Blog to Lose ladies and contacted my nutritionist.  It turns out I haven't been eating enough.  I had been sticking to about 1800 calories and burning about 3800 in a day.  Well, that had slowed my metabolism and put my body into starvation mode.  So after talking to a few people, I upped my calories to 2300 to 2500 as my target.  After 2 days, I lost 3 lbs in 3 days.    I had just reset my body and my total loss is 87 lbs.  I am just 13 lbs from my 100 lb goal and 16 lbs from being under 400 lbs.

Weight Loss Journey: Back to the Doctor and FitBit Fun

For the last few weeks, since I started doing treadmill workouts, my hip has been really bothering me.   It doesn't bother me while I'm on the treadmill, just after I get back to work and sit for a little bit.   It gets even worse after I get home and try to relax and watch tv.  Another problem I am having is that my foot begins to cramp/hurt after walking for around 5 minutes.  I have been pushing through it but It was a bit concerning.  I also, secretly, wanted to weigh in  and get my A1C checked again.

82 lbs down

Back in December when I first had my A1C checked, it was 6.9 and in February is was 6.2.  Now it is down to 5.7 which is the lowest number they consider to be pre-diabetic.  I am really happy to have dropped it so much but that doesn't mean I can let up.  I now have to maintain a good A1C so I can stay healthy and off medication.  I am currently down 82 lbs which is a little over 16% of my beginning body weight.  Being a numbers geek and Accounting major, makes me work everything down to percentages and number crunching.  I want to lose 50% of my beginning weight.  I am 33% there, 1/3rd of the way, in 7 1/2 months.  I know it will get tougher as I lose more.  But I am well on my way to a happier healthier me.

Back to my doctor visit.  Apparently my hip problem is called Bursitis and I just have to deal with it.  My foot is a ligament that is being stretched and doesn't like it.  I also just have to deal with that.  So here I am dealing with stuff.  I found some stretches for both problems but they don't seem to be working yet.  I took three days off from the gym this week to see if I could maybe rest up a bit.  When I went back on Monday, I wasn't in hip pain but the foot pain persisted.  After coming back to work, the hip did bother me but not as much as before.  It wasn't until I got home and had been relaxing for a bit that the pain returned with a vengeance.  However, I did do squats yesterday so that may have been part of it.

Here is a report from my FitBit on my work out from July 27th.  My average heartbeat is 128 bpm with half my time in a cardio zone and the other half in the fat burn zone.  My resting heart rate is around 70 bpm.  I burned an average of 15 calories a minute with a total of 504 calories burned.  I love all the information I get form this little device.  Below you can see other parts of my Dashboard.  You can see my sleep, my short term weight loss goal, my total calories burned, my active minutes, my distance, my floors and a badge I earned.  I don't understand how the floors are calculated.  I don't do many stairs and sometimes it says I have done six floors.  I just disregard that one.

Weight Loss Journey: More Zaycon, Father's Day and Eating Mistakes

BACON

Yes, I just opened my weight loss blog with bacon.  I'm evil like that!  You've heard me talk numerous times about Zaycon and their products.  We recently split a box of bacon and a box of boneless skinless chicken breast with my Mom.  The bacon came in 12 - 3 lb packs and we paid $3.49/lb.  It is really fantastic bacon.  Our first package I thought was a little salty but the second package didn't seem that way.  The Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast we got for $1.69/lb, which is a phenomenal price.  If you'd like to order, here is our referral link: zayconfresh.com/refer/zf361074 .  You can go there and check out what they have in your area.  I promise, you won't be disappointed.

The chicken comes in a large box, separated into 4 -10 lb bags.  The breasts are connected.  I quickly trim them and put 2 breasts per bag.  Each breast half weighs, on average, about a lb.

I want to warn you about reading labels.  I had bought some ground turkey, thinking, it must be better for me than ground beef.  After reading the labels, I found that the turkey have more calories and fat per serving than the 93/7 Zaycon Ground Beef.  I did find some 99% fat free ground turkey.  It's a bit expensive, $5.99/lb, but it works really well on salads.  I put about 4 ounces on a salad so it lasts 4 days.

For Father's Day, we went and hung out with my Dad at the river.  It was such a gorgeous day.  We had a BBQ and I brought this really yummy dessert.  I had frozen a bunch of strawberries after we got a flat earlier in the month.  I took 4 cups of those and put them in a greased 10x13 cake pan.  Then I sprinkled a box of yellow cake mix over the top of them.  After that, I shredded a frozen stick of butter over the entire thing.  I put it in the oven for 15 minutes at 350, then took it out and made sure all the cake mix was moist.  I baked it for another 30 minutes and it came out golden brown and delicious.  For 8 servings, its 428 calories each.

A few Fridays back, I woke up with a killer headache so I decided to stay home from work.  I got up early anyway and cleaned the house up.  Around 11, Roger texted me and suggested I take my Suburban in to Les Schwab to have it checked out.  After 2 hours, and a walk over to Fred Meyer, The conclusion was that I needed a new front hub and my tires were separating.  The tires are under warranty at Wal-Mart so my next trip was to them.  I dropped off my vehicle and walked around the store for an hour before I went back to the Tire Lube Express.  The guy came out and told me he couldn't find any leak in my tires.  Well, that wasn't why I brought it in so I sent him back to check out the real problem I brought it in for.  Turns out my tires were out of balance.  They fixed it, at no cost but I was there for 2 hours.  So my final stop for the day was to our friend Al's Auto.  He quickly changed my hub and did an oil change.  I was so grateful not to have to sit around much longer.  He had it all done in an hour.

Now that the long part of the story is over, I can tell you what I did wrong.  My first mistake was that I hadn't ate breakfast.  So I had a bag of popcorn at Les Schwab.  While at Fred Meyer, I grabbed 2 bags of chips.  I was tempted by the candy bars at the check out but I restrained.  If I had been smart, I would have just walked over to the Grocery section and grabbed something healthy, but I wasn't.  I ate one bag at Les Schwab and then didn't touch the other until I was at Al's, 3 hours later.  I also had a Diet Coke and a Diet Pepsi.  Again, I should have made smarter choices, but these things happen.  I guess my point is, don't let slip ups get you down.

I have been doing really well though.  I am eating good, sleeping better and feeling better.  I am able to do things at the gym that I wasn't able to do before.  My FitBit is awesome.  I find myself trying to beat my previous days or set a new record.  My cousin called me a few days ago to ask me how I had changed things and what I had done.  She needs to lower her blood sugars.  I explained what I had done but I told her, in the end, it's all a mind game.  And I am serious about that.  It's all in your head.  I have a constant inner dialogue about not eating a certain way, pushing 2 more minutes on the stationary bike, 3 more reps, or get off your butt and clean up from dinner.  Anyone who has tried to lose weight can tell you that once it clicked, it was easy.  You can think you are ready a million times but when you are truly ready, you will know it and feel it.

Weight Loss Journey: Six Months In

Here I am.  June 10th, 2015.  Exactly 6 months since that first phone call about my Diabetes diagnosis.  I can't begin to tell you how much I have changed in these 26 weeks.  Besides the 71 lbs that are gone, I have gained so much.  I have gained a renewed confidence in myself.  I am much happier.  I met a woman for the first time this week and she commented on how vibrant and full of life I seemed to be.  She said I had a glow about me.  She's right!

If you've been following my blog at all, you know I have been working pretty hard and it hasn't been easy.  But in reality, it's all a mental game.  I am constantly having conversations with myself about exercise, food and what to spend my time on.  It's about making smart choices.
"Oh, I haven't made it to the grocery store so let's just order pizza."
"No, we have plenty of food in the freezer, you can just cook something."
"But I have been really good and worked out extra hard today, Pizza won't hurt."
"It won't hurt, but it won't help either.  Just cook dinner."
Then I go cook dinner because arguing with myself is silly.  It's a battle within myself.  Luckily, my husband understands it and is patient with me.

I have been going to the gym now for 9 weeks and I figure I must be doing something right since they know my name.  I have my workouts down to a routine and now it's time to start keeping better track.  I am taking a small notebook with me to write down what machines I use, the reps I do and the weight I am doing them at.  I have also been trying to incorporate a few short walks a week into my routine.  I got my FitBit Charge HR today from Amazon.  I am so excited to integrate it into my activities.  It will take some getting used to as I have never worn a watch or bracelets.  So far I love it.  It's Purple!!!

Weight Loss Journey: Eating Out, Failure and a Progress Photo

My updates will be every two weeks, unless something super duper awesome happens.  I have got this down to a set routine now so not much changes.  I do meal prep on Sundays and take meat out of the freezer for the week.  I wanted to show you all this progress photo.  I was hanging out with a friend I hadn't seen in a while and he pointed out that he could really tell my progress from my face. I see myself every day so I didn't see it until I put these two photos side by side.   The first one is from about a year ago and the other is from a few weeks ago.

We have made a few extra trips north in the past two weeks so some of our meals have been eaten out.  I have talked about this before but you just have to be smart and not afraid to ask for what you want.  Below is an example meal from Wendy's.  It rings in at 415 calories.  It's an Asiago Ranch Chicken club with no bun and no sauce with a small chili.  Wendy's chicken is by far the best fast food chicken around.  It is an actual chicken breast, not a patty of ground up chicken with extra crap.

Last week, my weigh in was a tad disappointing.  Not sure what I did wrong but I was up 3 pounds.  And of course, I got a little depressed because I have been working really hard.  So Friday, I bumped my food intake down and my workout up.  Saturday's weigh in had me down 2 lbs but still more than last week.  We went to the Packwood Flea Market with my sister and her family on Saturday.  We had McDonald's on the way up, Mexican for a late Lunch.  Then we just snacked after we got home.  We did walk a total of 2.84 miles according to the fitness tracker on my husband's phone.

I've discovered that at my gym, in the locker room, when I take off my shirt to change, it signals the older women to start a conversation with me.  I've heard stories about diabetes, cheating husbands, the woes of retirement and weight loss.  I don't know why but my husband and I collect weird.  We must look approachable.  I was really proud of myself this week.  When I was doing the 30 minutes express last week, I actually used the steps.  My knees were really sore but I did it.  That was a huge achievement for me.  The photo below shows what the 30 Minute Express room looks like.  Another achievement was that I lost 16 lbs this month.  I am down a total of 69 lbs.  I had challenged myself to lose 15 lbs this month.  I think that is why I got so depressed last week when I was up.

I wanted to share a recipe that I tried this week.  It was my friend Jamie's birthday and she is allergic to gluten, soy and dairy.  Needless to say, a traditional cake was something she couldn't have.  I searched high and low for a good recipe for her.  I found this Lemon Drizzle Chickpea Cake.  The only cages I made were that I made a glaze of lemon juice and powdered sugar instead of the honey and I put raspberries on top.  The texture will not be for everyone but my husband and I both really liked it.  The lemon flavor is really pronounced.  Let me know if you give it a try.

Weight Loss Journey: In a Rut, Birthday and Zaycon

I haven't been really sure what to blog about this time.  I am kind of in a zone/schedule/rut.  Not even sure what to call it.  A rut sounds negative so I don't think that is the right word.  Here is what I am doing.

5:00 am up with the husband.  Sometimes I go back to sleep, some days I stay up and get some chores done.
8:00 am Work starts, I eat breakfast.
12:00 pm Pre-Work Out meal.  Usually consists of some carbs, protein and fat.
1:15 pm Head to the Gym.  M/W/F is Circuit Training, T/Th is Stationary Bike & Weight Training
2:30 pm Post-Work Out meal.  A salad with some kind of protein.  Either Chicken or Tuna.
5:00 pm Off work, head home to make dinner
6:00 pm Dinner
10:00 pm Bed Time

It's the same, every weekday, and I don't mind at all.  I have been going to the gym for a month now.  I still love it.  If I am having a crap day, I just go in, put my headphones on and work it out.  I don't think about much else than what I am doing.  I can't say that about any other time in my life.  Even at work, going to sleep or watching TV, I am thinking about other things that need to be done.  I guess you could call it my escape.

Last week was my birthday and my Mom was so sweet and sent me flowers.  As I opened the box though, I called her the devil.  There was a box of chocolates in the bottom of the box.  Really Mom?  Why would you sabotage me like that?  I gave them to my boss.  Later in the day she called and apologized.  She didn't realize the package she sent included chocolates.  I apologized for calling her the devil.  We both laughed.  Roger took me to dinner that night at a local seafood restaurant.  I got a crab stuffed mushroom appetize, the cioppino and we shared a slice of chocolate cake.  I was terribly disappointed in the food and the service.  I guess that's why we eat at home so much.  If I am going to pay $70-80 for a meal, it better be damned good.

Last weekend we held our 29th Annual All High School Car Show.  It is strictly for High School Students in the area.  I had been really stressed going into it as there is a lot of work that needs to be done but it went off without a hitch.  I wish I could reassure myself in the weeks leading up to it that it always comes together but I just can't.  I am a worrier and a stresser.  It's just who I am.  It was such a hectic day that I forgot to take my medicine that morning.  I take a Multi-Vitamin, Iron, B-12, Complex D, Alpha Lipoic Acid and an anxiety medication.  I also forgot on Sunday.  Monday I felt pretty crappy and forgot to take them again.  I was light headed, nauseous and had a migraine.  When I got home, I complained to Roger about it and he suggested it was because I had missed my medicine.  I decided to go ahead and take them and within an hour, I felt 100% better.  Lesson learned.

Have I talked about Zaycon Foods here on my blog yet? We discovered them through my Tastefully Simple consultant, Tessie. She had posted about it on Facebook and I checked it out.  Let me tell you, I am so glad I did.  We are on our third order of Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast.  For just $1.99 per pound, we couldn't resist trying it.  You pick it up at the location.  You just drive up to the truck and they load it for you.  It comes in a 40 lb case, fresh from the processing facility.  All you have to do is portion them out, freeze and enjoy.  For a long time we steered clear of chicken breast because it always seemed to dry out, even in the crock pot.  We have never had a problem with these.  They stay moist and delicious.  We decided to order a case of ground beef and it came in on Wednesday.  It comes in 10 lb tubes and you get 4 of them.  We split this case with my Mom.  It is 93/7 lean ground beef and is so yummy.  There was virtually no fat in the pan after I fried up a small amount to taste.  We have bacon coming next week and my mouth is watering already!  I highly recommend you check them out.

I am writing this on Saturday morning and just weighed in.  I am down a total of 65 lbs!!!  My hard work is really paying off.  I really encourage anyone who is struggling or needs motivation to just look at yourself in the mirror and realize that you are worth it.  You are worth the sweat, the sore muscles, and the love for yourself.  I was never able to do this until my mind switched into "selfish" mode.  It's not really selfish to take care of yourself.  How are you going to take care of everyone else in your life if you aren't around or are too tired to do it?  Do it for you and you alone.  I love you all and I thank you for riding along with me on this journey.