As confident as I am, I don't want someone to see me and laugh. After I had my Gastric Bypass and lost 150 lbs, I felt so great about myself. The problem was that out in public, people who didn't know me or my story, would make fun of me. Cracking jokes, making comments, calling me names about my weight. They didn't know I had just lost 1/3rd of myself. It made me feel like wearing a t-shirt or carrying a sign around that said "I just lost 150 lbs, shut the fuck up".
That was 12 years ago. I am much more secure in the person I am now but the pain and anxiety is still there. It's the reason I stay home a lot more than I go out. I only go places I am comfortable. I missed out on going out with one of my best friends for his birthday because I couldn't stomach the thought of being in a packed club. It is very rare for me to go to a new place without meticulously checking it out first. If a new restaurant comes to town, I want to know what kind of tables and chairs they have. These aren't things that thin people need to worry about. These are reasons I am changing my life.
Did my first workout Tuesday night. I chose to do the Full Body Resistance Band Workout - 20 Moves to Slim You Down & Tone You Up. It is a 30 minute workout but I was only able to do 15 minutes. It comes as no surprise that I am really out of shape. The moves were simple enough though that I think I can slowly work my way up to the whole 30 minutes. I like the resistance bands because as I move along and the workout gets easier for me, I can change out the band for the next strongest one and start the cycle again.
Wednesday my stomach was upset after lunch and then Thursday I had real trouble eating. Nothing tasted good. I brought Overnight Oats, a salad and leftover roasted veggies from last night's dinner but I couldn't get more than a few bites down. My stomach hurt and I felt nauseous. I left work about 1 and went straight home to bed. I slept until around 7:30 and then went back to bed around 10. I thought it was maybe something bad I had eaten but when it persisted through Friday I got a little more concerned. Here it is Sunday and I am still in pain when I eat or move around too much.
That being said, I did not complete my goal for this week. I just felt so crappy after doing just my regular house work that I couldn't work out. I was not lazy though. What I did was work on cleaning for as long as I could stomach, then sit until my stomach calmed down. Then back I was cleaning or doing one of the many projects I have completed in the last week. I will be sharing some of them with you but the biggest one, that I won't be sharing, is my nephew Landon's Quiet Book. If you don't know what that is, check out the one I made for Logan here.
That was 12 years ago. I am much more secure in the person I am now but the pain and anxiety is still there. It's the reason I stay home a lot more than I go out. I only go places I am comfortable. I missed out on going out with one of my best friends for his birthday because I couldn't stomach the thought of being in a packed club. It is very rare for me to go to a new place without meticulously checking it out first. If a new restaurant comes to town, I want to know what kind of tables and chairs they have. These aren't things that thin people need to worry about. These are reasons I am changing my life.
Did my first workout Tuesday night. I chose to do the Full Body Resistance Band Workout - 20 Moves to Slim You Down & Tone You Up. It is a 30 minute workout but I was only able to do 15 minutes. It comes as no surprise that I am really out of shape. The moves were simple enough though that I think I can slowly work my way up to the whole 30 minutes. I like the resistance bands because as I move along and the workout gets easier for me, I can change out the band for the next strongest one and start the cycle again.
Wednesday my stomach was upset after lunch and then Thursday I had real trouble eating. Nothing tasted good. I brought Overnight Oats, a salad and leftover roasted veggies from last night's dinner but I couldn't get more than a few bites down. My stomach hurt and I felt nauseous. I left work about 1 and went straight home to bed. I slept until around 7:30 and then went back to bed around 10. I thought it was maybe something bad I had eaten but when it persisted through Friday I got a little more concerned. Here it is Sunday and I am still in pain when I eat or move around too much.
That being said, I did not complete my goal for this week. I just felt so crappy after doing just my regular house work that I couldn't work out. I was not lazy though. What I did was work on cleaning for as long as I could stomach, then sit until my stomach calmed down. Then back I was cleaning or doing one of the many projects I have completed in the last week. I will be sharing some of them with you but the biggest one, that I won't be sharing, is my nephew Landon's Quiet Book. If you don't know what that is, check out the one I made for Logan here.
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