Weight Loss Journey: What I Eat In A Day

After my last few blogs were pretty negative in tone, I thought I would brighten things up.  I started on a low dose thyroid medication on Saturday April 2nd.  That next week I dropped 5 lbs and then I put the scale away.  I didn't want to be checking it every single day.  I won't weigh in again until May 1st.  I am doing really well at keeping under 2,000 calories so I thought I would share with you all what I eat in a day.

BREAKFAST 8:00 am
Breakfast is the same every work day.  I make an egg scramble.  I meal prep the meat on Sunday and portion it out into 4 ozs or whatever the serving is.  I weigh everything out in order to track things accurately.  This keeps me full until around noon.  I also have a 24 oz coffee with almond milk (32 cals) and about 40 ozs of water.

142 grams Isernio's Chicken Breakfast Sausage (160 cals)

7 ozs sliced Zucchini (34 cals)

5 ozs sliced Button Mushrooms (30 cals)

8 ozs Liquid Eggs (123 cals)

Total:  347 Cals, 15 carbs, 6 fat and 37 protein

PRE-WORKOUT 12:00 pm
I try to keep pre-workout light but with some protein and carbs.  I have been really liking cottage cheese and berries.

8 oz Cottage Cheese (180 Cals)

3 ozs Black Berries (32 cals)

3 ozs Raspberries (17 cals)

Total:  229 Cals, 28 carbs, 6 fat and 25 protein

POST WORKOUT 2:45 pm
I use my lunch break to go to the gym.  I either do Cardio or weight lifting for 35 minutes, then come back to work and eat.  Post Workout is always a salad.

4 cups Spring Salad Mix (40 cals)
4 oz Boneless Skinless Chicken Thighs (166 cals)
2 tbsp Litehouse Opa Greek Yogurt Feta Dill Dressing (50 cals)
Total:  256 cals, 10 carbs, 15 fat and 23 protein

DINNER 6:00ish pm
Dinner can vary but we stick to about 10 or 15 dishes pretty consistently.   Here are a few.

6 oz Beef Chuck Steak (240 cals)

150 grams Yukon Gold Potato (120 cals)

2 cups Spring Salad Mix (20 cals)

2 tbsp Litehouse Opa Greek Yogurt Feta Dill Dressing (50 cals)

Totals:  430 cals, 32 carbs, 14 fat and 41 protein

Enchilada Filling:  20 oz Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast, 1 can of Low Sodium Black Beans, 1 large can of La Victoria Mild Red Enchilada Sauce.  Makes 10 Servings, 168 calories each.

3 La Tortilla Factory Low Carb Tortillas (80 cals each)

1.5 oz Mexican Cheese Blend

Totals:  745 cals, 87 carbs, 26 fat and 78 protein

7 ozs Boneless Skinless Chicken Thigh (245 cals)

8 ozs Yukon Gold Potato (138 cals)

6 ozs Birdseye Steamfresh Broccoli (60 cals)

Totals:  443 cals, 38 carbs, 11 fat and 46 protein

Beef Enchilada Bake

16 oz Grassfed Extra Lean Ground Beef

2 cups Instant White Rice

1 can Sweet Corn

1 can Low Sodium Black Beans

1 large can Enchilada Sauce

8 ozs Mexican Cheese Blend

Makes 4 large servings.  Can serve on a tortilla or eat in a bowl.

662 cals, 74 carbs, 18 fat and 51 protein

We also go out to eat maybe once or twice a month.  The above meal is from Ichi Teriyaki here in Longview.  I get no sauce on my chicken to keep the calories in check.  I look at MyFitnessPal for close matches when I eat out.  This meal came out to be 603 calories, 38 carbs, 16 fat and 68 protein.

In the evening I can have anywhere from 100 to 500 calories left.  I like to indulge in ice cream, popcorn or other simple snacks.  I found a really good diet ice cream called Halo Top.  It is hard to find and a bit expensive but well worth the effort.  The pint below is only 280 calories for the entire thing.  There is 60 carbs, 8 fat and 24 protein.  Compare that to regular ice cream and you will be blown away!

Weight Loss Journey: The Test Results Are In

I saw the Nutritionist last week and I did not get the results I had hoped for.  She said my logs looked good, I was doing everything right, and I just needed to work harder.  Lower my calories and burn more at the gym.  Let me tell you, I was really mad when I left.  I was depressed and pissed off.  I went to Taco Bell to drown my sorrows in Cheesy Frito Burritos.  After talking to my Mom and my husband, I calmed a bit but decided to make that day a cheat day and had pizza (Chicken and Spinach) for dinner.

I spent Friday thinking about what I needed to do.  I got a call from my doctor and she wanted me to come in to have some blood work done to check my vitamin levels.  I decided I was going to follow the nutritionist's advice for 4 weeks.  I would cut my calories to 2000 a day and change up my work outs to see what the results would be.  This requires planning and strategy.  I spent Friday evening writing up options for meals and making a shopping list.

Since Easter was Sunday, we did our weekly shopping on Saturday morning.  Do you have Cash & Carry where you are?  If so, check them out.  I find their produce selection to be top notch.  I can get my salad mix for $6 and it will last 2 weeks.  I also get mushrooms, zucchini, spinach, broccoli slaw, grape tomatoes, potatoes, diced ham and feta cheese.  It saves me money and helps with meal prep.  I spent a few hours Sunday night cutting veggies and weighing everything out.

Planning gives me the chance to try out a few new recipes too.  This week I made Zoodles with Shrimp and One Pot Chili Pasta (see recipes below).  I have to thank my husband for being so patient and open minded on weeks like this.  Let's just say I have been a little crazy about this and analyzing things even more than usual.  He was not a huge fan of the Pasta Chili.  He hates tomatoes, but he ate it anyway.  He did like the Zoodles and Shrimp.  I was surprised how much like pasta it actually felt.

I try to eat 4 times a day.  Breakfast, Pre-Workout Snack, Lunch Post-Workout and Dinner.  This week I have added in a few more supplements.  A ProBiotic, a calcium chew, a milder iron supplement, a chewy daily vitamin and a pre-workout energy mix.  This is in addition to my B12, D3 and Alpha Lipoic Acid.  They are working because some of my blood work has come back and my Vitamin D Levels went from 15 to 38 (normal is 20-80) and my B12 levels went from 230 to 588 (normal 200-914).  My Ferritin levels, which measure your bodies ability to hold onto iron, have went from 22 to 32 in a year.  Normal range for that is 11-307.  

Along with those good results have come some questionable ones.  My TSH or Thyroid Stimulating Hormone came back at 3.24 which is right in the middle of the 0.34 to 5.60 range.  However, my T3 which is part of the thyroid system came back at 82 which is lower than the 87-178 range.  Also my urine test showed more protein that normal.  My number was 147 and the range should be less than 29.  This is the test that worries me.  It shows kidney damage and possible kidney disease.

As of right now, I feel like I am fighting with my body.  According to the doctors and all my research, I am doing everything right.  I am eating very healthy, keeping active, keeping low carb, getting plenty of water and taking all my vitamins.  This week I have been keeping under 2000 calories a day and working out.  On Monday morning I was 397.6 but Friday morning I was 399.6.  Can you see why I am super frustrated?  I have been working hard, cutting and I gained weight.  Needless to say, I am waiting to hear from my doctor to see what to do.  I was in tears all Friday morning.  My Mom finally calmed me down and told me I should stop dieting for a week because me being so stressed and upset just isn't worth it.  I am so happy with my progress and how I feel but I am also so depressed.  

If you have made it this far down the blog, THANK YOU!  I sometimes just need to get this shit written out so I can process it.  I will keep you all updated on my progress and what is in store for my health.

Weight Loss Journey: Food Addiction and Obsession

addiction - noun
the fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity.
"he committed the theft to finance his drug addiction"
synonyms: dependency, dependence, habit, problem

This was a facebook thing but I thought it was so fitting.

I think I have always been a food addict.  Always thinking about what I could be eating.  Thinking about Lunch as I am finishing Breakfast.  Hiding snacks in my bedroom.  Hiding the evidence of what I had eaten.  It's a shameful thing.  I did my best to hide it in my teens and 20s but it was obvious I was gaining weight.

"A food addiction or eating addiction is a behavioral addiction that is characterized by the compulsive consumption of palatable (i.e., high fat and high sugar) foods – the types of food which markedly activate the reward system in humans and other animals – despite adverse consequences."

The thing about food addiction is that you can't live without it.  You can't just stay away from food.  It is essential to your survival.  Alcoholics can avoid alcohol, and situations involving it.  Food addicts can avoid restaurants but you have to eat.  And in my family, food seems to always be the way we get together.  Birthdays, Christmas, Easter, it doesn't matter, we are having a meal.  My first question is always, what are we having and what can I bring.

Have you ever sat down to watch a movie or tv with a bag of chips or cookies and suddenly realized that you have eaten the entire bag?  That was me all the time.  And in College, I had an hour break between work and class.  I would always spend that hour eating a bag of fast food while studying or finishing homework,.  I was spending $10 to $20 a day on fast food.  That habit continued into adulthood.

When I had Gastric Bypass in 2003, I thought I had broken that cycle.  I was determined that this physical change I had made in my body would cure my mental illness.  But, it was only a matter of time before my addiction took over again.  18 months ago, I was back in the cycle pretty hard.  Buying breakfast and lunch everyday.  Spending every extra cent on snacks and junk food.  I was drinking liters of Diet Coke daily.  I thought everything was great, but don't all addicts?

When I finally decided I had to change my life, it was my head that changed.  I had been to therapy, read every bit of research I could, tried every diet, and every pill.  Nothing worked until my brain changed.  I've dropped 105 lbs in the last 15 months.  But now my addiction has switched to a Diet Obsession.

obsession - noun
1. the state of being obsessed with someone or something.
"she cared for him with a devotion bordering on obsession"
2. an idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person's mind.
plural noun: obsessions
"he was in the grip of an obsession he was powerless to resist"
synonyms: fixation, passion, mania, compulsion, preoccupation

I count every calorie of everything that goes into my mouth.  I log it on MyFitnessPal and use my FitBit to keep track of my calories burned vs my calories ingested.  I watch YouTube videos on diets, weight lifting and calorie counting.  I plan my meals out a week in advance and eat the same exact thing for Breakfast, Lunch and Post-Workout, every day of the work week.  It's a numbers game and it's driving me insane.

Typical Dinner in my house includes a baked potato with a little cheese, chicken breast and green beans, along with a glass of V8 juice.

Since October 1st, nearly 6 months, I have only dropped 10 lbs.  I've been on this giant plateau where I have tried so many changes.  I've dropped my calories, upped my workouts, used some supplements and now I have added in a protein shake.  I am burning 3500 calories and ingesting about 2000.  This leaves me a 1500 calorie deficit and over a week, that equals a 10500 calorie deficit.  A pound is equal to 3500 calories, therefore, I should be losing around 3 lbs a week.  So what the heck is the problem here?

Two typical days for me.  Around 5000 steps, 4000 calories burned and a work out tracked.

I go to a nutritionist on Thursday this week but in the mean time, I am completely freaking out over this stuff.  Constantly talking about it with my husband and trying to do research on what I am doing wrong.  Is it a thyroid issue?  Have I done metabolic damage to myself?  Am I destined to be this weight?  Am I gaining muscle instead?  It is on my mind at all times and has seriously become an obsession/addiction.  Maybe I will never recover from this.

Weight Loss Journey: How My Gym Make Me Feel...

I hear a lot of flack about Planet Fitness not being a "real" gym.  I call bullshit.  Planet Fitness has everything a regular gym has, plus more.  I don't share a lot about my gym experience.  It's not overly exciting.  I go 3-5 days a week.  If you follow me on Instagram, you see photos from most of my workouts.  There are even days where I go twice.  I mostly keep to myself, wearing ear buds and doing my own thing.  Occasionally I have someone talk to me.  I wave to the familiar people.  In fact, I have met some really great people.

I have had only two bad experiences.  The first, a younger woman asked me not to breath so hard on the elliptical.  I apologized and said I thought that was the point of working out but maybe I had it wrong.  Then, a few days ago, an older woman came up to me and told me if I worked a bit harder, the weight would just fall off.  After I informed her I had already lost 100 lbs in 14 months, she said it again and followed it up with, "Just a friendly tip".  I just walked away from her.  I mentioned this experience when talking to a fellow gym member and he was astounded.  He noted that I work really hard and my paces and RPMs are even higher than his own.

But, for those two bad experiences, I have had at least 20 great ones.  I could start with the employees.  Misty at the front counter greets me with a smile EVERY DAY.  She knows my name, says hello and offers me tips and advice, even sometimes in a British accent.  Aspen, the trainer, is also really nice.  Even though I have never taken any of his classes, he goes out of his way to say hello and answer any questions I have.  Andrew, another employee has seen me come in twice a day at times and is always there with a hello and a goodbye.

Out on the floor, I see some of the same people, day in and day out.  There is Chad who started a conversation with me about an invention and now comes by if I am on a machine just to say hello.  We had a conversation a few days ago about this very blog.  Then there is Jake who never misses a chance to smile and give me a fist bump of encouragement.  And Bob, an older man, who approached me because he wanted to know how I got started and how he could help his daughter who is overweight and has diabetes.  Another person I see nearly daily, I don't know her name, but I call her Walker Lady.  We have talked a few times.  She waits for the bus and wishes me a good day as I leave.  She trucks on her walker through the gym, using the treadmill, stationary bike and weight machines.  She's amazing.

My most interesting conversations happen in the locker room.  There are a few women who I see as I am coming in and a few I see as I am heading out.  There is Rosie who has been coming to the gym longer than I have.  Her husband has diabetes and she comes to the gym to get away.  Another woman who's doctor warned her that her cholesterol was high and she needed to start working out.  She is thin and has always been active.  She didn't understand.  I was late back to work one day because we had such a long conversation.

I write this blog because I want you, reading this, to know that the gym isn't as scary as it seems.  It's become my home away from work, my break in my day and my sanctuary.  If you have a Planet Fitness near you, check them out.  Also, don't stick to one part of the gym.  Do more than what you know or may be easy.  At Planet Fitness, all the machines have pictures and instructions on how to use them.  Give them a shot.  If you already go to a gym, how does your gym make you feel?

Quiet Book for Nephew #2

 If you have been reading this blog since the beginning, you may remember the Quiet Book (or sometimes called Busy Book) I made for Logan, Nephew #1.  I gave it to him for his 2nd Birthday so I knew I had to do the same for Nephew #2, Landon.  I have roughly 16 months until I have to have my final one done for Nephew #3, Leo.

Here is the cover of Landon's book.  I used denim, felt, bias tape a button and an elastic hair tie.  You can see a snarl on the bottom.  I was having problems with the tension in my machine and actually broke the bobbin.  Next, the screw broke that holds the presser foot.  It was a hot mess, to say the least.  His name is made of felt that I fabric glued.  I sewed a hair tie to the back and then used a button to secure it shut.

Page #1 is a clock page.  The hands can move and are made of plastic that i colored with a black sharpie.  The face is felt with fabric paint.  The background is meant to represent night and day.  It was the first page I put together and one of my favorites.

This is the first of 3 two-page spreads.When Landon was younger, he used to throw socks everywhere.  So, when I saw this idea online I knew I had to try.  I redid this page a few times.  I screwed up the door and it was trial and error with the socks.  I needed a strong enough magnet but thin enough to not make the page bulky.  There are three sock cut outs in each pattern.  One to glue to the page with a strip magnet underneath and the other two get sewn together with a small strong magnet I got at Harbor Freight.  He can put them in the dryer or the basket or keep them on the magnetic page.

Nest is a puzzle kite.  Nothing too extreme.  However, I learned from Logan's book that all parts should be attached to the book somehow.  Each piece has a string of rik rak sewn to it then they are sewn to the page under the bow.  The puzzle pieces are felt and there is a small piece of velcro on the back of each.  There is a full kite shape underneath that the velcro sticks to.

I am not overly thrilled with this page but I do love the kid in the puddle.  He is made from felt, hand stitched and so cute.  This should help him learn his colors and how to spell them.

This is the counting page.  I used the same fabric as Logan's counting page in his book.  It was fabric my mom gave me that she had for years.  I simply strung beads and buttons on ribbon, glued felt numbers and sewed the ribbon to the page.

This is the girliest page in the book.  It should help him learn how to use buttons.  Each flower has a slit in it with rik rak glued to it.

This pizza page should also help him with counting.  Plus, who doesn't love pizza?  I made sure the pieces were attached to the book but they have since been ripped out by him so I will have to figure something better out.  The pizza is made of felt and glued together.

The shapes and textures on this page are really cute.  I got the textured felt on clearance at Wal-Mart for 10 cents a sheet.

I call this final page the Puppy Page.  It will help him learn to use a slide closure.  It's so cute and was really easy.  The dog is made of felt and the spots are glued on.  I got the dog collar at the dollar store.  

All in all I love the book.  It took many hours and a lot of supplies but my nephews are worth every pin prick.

Weight Loss Journey: 2015 - The Year of Me

I hope you all had a great Christmas.  This past month, I have taken a bit of a break from blogging.  Christmas time is always very hectic for us.  Between multiple family, work and friend get-togethers, we still had to work and keep the house up.  Adulting is hard.

My oldest nephew Logan.  One of the rare photos that isn't blurred.  Kids move fast.

I have been bouncing between 405 and 415 for more than a month.  It seems my body is comfortable at this weight and activity level.  I am fine with that.  I can buy clothes at a store, not just online.  I am really active and flexible.  I am happy, healthy and hopeful.  However, I would like to lose 50 to 100 more pounds.  But I have to remember the number on the scale means nothing if I am miserable.

I have always lived my life trying to do as much as I can for others.  My family, my husband, my friends.  But 2015 was the year of Me.  It was the year I came out of my depression and started enjoying life again.  I didn't even know how depressed I was.  2015 wasn't all about my weight loss.  100 lbs is no small feat, but the year was also about self awareness, self love and self confidence.  In short, I feel incredible.

Me and my nephew Landon, using my selfie stick

I have met so many people in the last year that have lifted me up and supported me.  I have made friends locally and across the US in what I call my "Fat Chat".  I have also had family and friends send me messages and tell me personally how great I am doing.  It makes me incredibly proud of myself.  My blog has gotten so many more followers and I am thankful for each and every person who reads this.  Recently my blog was shared on a weight loss website, across Facebook and Twitter.  It's amazing.  I hope I inspire some of you to get healthier.  I know I am inspired by you all.

This is Christmas 2014 and Christmas 2015.

I am not one for New Years resolutions so I am just going to state a few things for 2016:
#1-I want to continue eating healthy and tracking my calories.
#2-I want to continue my exercise habits by working out at least 3 days a week.
#3-I want to strengthen my relationship with Roger.
#4-I want to continue to save money for our futures.
#5-I want to be a better friend by making more time to visit people.
#6-More craft and food blogs, less weight loss blogs.

What are your hopes for 2016?  Will you be joining me on my journey?

Weight Loss Journey: The Good, the Bad and the Gain

I have been mulling over this blog for a week now.  In fact, I wasn't going to write about it at all.  Just ignore it and maybe it will go away.  But that is how I got to be over 500 lbs in the first place.  And after talking to my sister, she convinced me that this blog needs to be truthful and genuine.  She is absolutely right.  So I must say that I have gained back some weight.  About 7 pounds actually.  Here is where I could list my excuses, but for me, they are not excuses, they are mistakes.  And mistakes can be corrected and learned from.

Two weeks ago I opened an email with the subject line "Invoice and Receipt for Payment".  Thinking nothing of it I downloaded the contents.  Mistake #1.  The email turned out to be a Ransomware Virus that corrupted my computer along with my work and personal flash drives that were plugged in.  I lost every document and photo on all three devices.  I had a friend come over to see if he could save anything but he wasn't able to.  He had to wipe my computer and reload windows.  Thank goodness that it didn't touch anything in my accounting program.

I spent the next 2 days reloading all my programs.  I was so involved in it that I skipped the gym.  Mistake #2.  Instead of taking my lunch break and going to the gym to relieve some stress, I sat at my desk and ate junk.  I went to the gas station a few doors down and got chips, candy and soda.  Mistake #3.  This was an old behavior that I thought I was over but those old habits die hard.  Have I mentioned I don't handle stress very well?

I worked 17 hours overtime in those 2 weeks.  My "at home" meals suffered too. Mistake #4.  I didn't plan ahead and waited way too long to eat some days.  This meant that I didn't make dinner most nights and either ate out or I threw something together.  I had pizza, Chinese, fast food and other comfort food.  I also didn't log my food consistently.  Eating like crap and being stressed about work made me feel like crap.  That in turn made me not want to do anything.  In short, I was lazy and lackadaisical.

On Thanksgiving, I wrapped the Christmas presents while I watched the Macy's parade.  We went to a friend's house for dinner and had a wonderful time.  There was no stress.  By Saturday, I had pulled myself out of my funk.  I took a trip alone to St. Helens, OR and finished my Christmas shopping.  Then, after I got home, Roger and I went to Fred Meyer to shop for boots.  I ended up getting them at Payless.  I got two pair for a little over $50.  I weighed myself again this morning, December 1st, and I was back to 410.  Which means I am 7 lbs from my 100 lb goal.  While this is a set back, it's not going to stop me.